Originally published Sunday, December 9, 2007 at 12:00 AM

Danny O'Neil's NFL power rankings

Last week's ranking in parentheses


	Team	Comment
1	New England (1)	Patriots prevailed Monday in a flag-football game chock full of fourth-quarter penalties.
2	Dallas (2)	Ken Hamlin turned into the most INT-eresting offseason addition with five picks so far this season.
3	Pittsburgh (3)	A player no one's heard of guaranteed victory. In related news, a tree fell in an unattended forest.
4	Indianapolis (6)	Marvin Harrison's health is a state secret, all information given only on a kneed-to-know basis.
5	Green Bay (4)	Can Favre be mavrelous even after the bludgeoning he took against Dallas last week?
6	Jacksonville (5)	Sisyphus had his rock, the Jacksonville Jaguars have the Indianapolis Colts.
7	Tampa Bay (8)	Nice guys supposedly finish last, but Ryan Nece is a guy who's helped Bucs into first.
8	Seattle (11)	The Tatupu Scoopa is a revolutionary product that effortlessly corrals doo-doo thrown out by QBs.
9	San Diego (9)	AFC West so bad that not even Norv Turner can keep the Chargers from winning the division.
10	Tennessee (10)	Hope deserves prayers: Injured safety's season is over after injury he suffered against Cincinnati.
11	Cleveland (7)	The Browns' case for a playoff berth turned over to the D.A.: Derek Anderson.
12	New York Giants (12)	Justice for all? Nope. Just Osi Umenyiora. He beat Philly's Justice for 6 sacks back in September.
13	Washington (13)	Tom Collins: A cocktail served over ice. Todd Collins: A smooth chaser who warms up quick.
14	Minnesota (20)	Kick returner Aundrae Allison sounds like the first sorority member ever to score a TD in the NFL.
15	Arizona (18)	Growing pains? No, the Cardinals suffering from the groin pains of WR Larry Fitzgerald.
16	Buffalo (17)	Dear Joe Gibbs, your holiday gift of 15 yards was so thoughtful, so timely and so appreciated.
17	Philadelphia (14)	Philly's lost that love for Feeley, whoa, that love for Feeley, and now it's gone, gone, gone.
18	New Orleans (15)	Bush league: Reggie wandered toward Saints locker room with a few seconds left in Sunday's game.
19	Houston (22)	Texans' Sage isn't all that old. Is he wise? We'll see as he steps in for the injured Matt Schaub.
20	Detroit (19)	Here's hoping Jon Kitna greets Terence with Seinfeld-esque venom when he says, "Hello, Newman."
21	Chicago (16)	Hard to believe, but Rex Grossman's injury actually hurt the Bears' chances of winning Thursday.
22	Baltimore (25)	The defense was left stark, Raven mad at the officials after Monday night's loss to the Patriots.
23	Denver (21)	Travis Henry's appeal of a positive drug test kept his season from going to pot.
24	Carolina (26)	What's a more fitting title for this Panthers season, "Horrific Carr crash" or "Our Grandpa Vinny"?
25	Oakland (28)	One game was enough to Russell up some enthusiasm for No. 1 pick's future.
26	St. Louis (27)	Four words summarize St. Louis' chances of winning this week: Brock Berlin, starting quarterback.
27	Cincinnati (23)	Bengals behaved like choir boys much of this season. Unfortunately, they played like them, too.
28	Kansas City (24)	The Jayhawks headed to the Orange Bowl, overshadowing the Chiefs' spiral down the toilet bowl.
29	New York Jets (30)	Jets' record deserves an asterisk. Two of those victories were against Division I-AA Miami Dolphins.
30	San Francisco (31)	A question as difficult as chicken or egg: Which is worse, 49ers receivers or their quarterback play?
31	Atlanta (29)	Bobby Petrino's decision to start QB Chris Redman might leave him looking red, man.
32	Miami (32)	Dolphins offense now a bunch of Mularkey. That's who'll be calling the plays from now on.

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