Build your dream home (and keep it from becoming a nightmare)

For some, a dream home is not something they buy, it is something they build.

Some industry experts caution that home building is expensive, exhausting and too complicated for the average Joe. But while you might have to get creative, you don't have to be superhuman — or super wealthy — to do it.

Seattle-area builder Steve Mittendorf agrees.

"It's common to build a fairly nice house for $150 to $200 per square foot," he said. That's $360,000 to $480,000 for a 2,400-square-foot home.

If you want to be in Seattle or close to it, the toughest part might be finding a lot to build on. For the few remaining vacant lots in the city's most desirable neighborhoods, competition is fierce and prices are high.

But there are ways to get a custom home without dipping into the kids' college fund.

Seattle architect Robin Abrahams of Abrahams Architects said a sense of place drives many homeowners to rebuild their current homes rather than move.

"I find that people are not only tied to an overall place like Seattle, but they're tied to their micro communities," Abrahams said. "They feel strongly about their neighbors and their neighborhoods."

As a result, she said, more people are opting to dramatically transform their homes.

Abrahams, who shares a Capitol Hill office with her builder husband, Toby Taylor of Caledonia Bay Builders, is involved in such a project herself. Five years ago, she and Taylor bought the "saddest home on the block" in a booming Capitol Hill neighborhood.

"We bought something that in this market would have been considered a teardown," she said.

After living in the home for several years, the couple fell in love with the neighborhood and decided moving wasn't an option. They decided instead to dramatically alter their 100-year-old colonial "box-style" house by adding a third story, more bedrooms and grander living areas.

"New construction is infinitely easier from an architectural and construction standpoint," said Abrahams, "but sometimes there are monetary or social values to holding on to some of what's there."

Find a place you love; build on what's there

In 2004, Seattle residents Scott and Lisa Richardson decided it was time to move from their home in the University District to a more family-friendly area. They had one young daughter and another on the way, and they fell in love with a street near the Woodland Park Zoo.

The couple decided to buy an 1,800-square-foot, one-story house built in the 1940s. They knew they would want more space and that the house needed several improvements, so they pondered their options.

"My wife asked, 'If we ever decide to add square footage, what do you think we could do?' " said Scott Richardson, a project manager for a commercial-construction company.

The small lot left little room to extend the house into the backyard, so the couple opted to go up and to do it immediately. They enlisted Scott Richardson's mother, an architect, and a series of subcontractors — including Josh Wirth of Josh Wirth Construction, who managed many of the construction details.

The Richardsons paid about $450,000 for the one-story house and spent about $300,000 turning it into a three-story 3,800-square-foot home now valued at more than $900,000.

The Richardsons used some of the old home's walls, but aside from that, the project was very much like new construction, Scott Richardson said. He's proud of what they did.

"The Seattle real-estate market makes it a viable option to do what we did," he said. "It was a great undertaking for my wife and me. But it takes extreme patience and planning."

Tear down the old; start over from scratch

More people are opting to buy rickety, even rat-infested homes they can knock down to build the home they want, and to bring in the wrecking ball and tear them down for the land, said Seattle builder Martha Rose of Martha Rose Construction.

"It's difficult to find land in this city, as a builder or a private person," Rose said.

She recently served as a construction consultant to a couple who tore down a small home in Ballard to build their dream home at a price they could afford. The couple acted as their own general contractor and hired Rose to help them connect with subcontractors and weigh in on the complexities of the building process.

The builder-as-consultant model is a good way to keep costs down, Rose said, because it's cheaper than paying a general contractor to oversee the job. Being willing to get their hands dirty probably saved the couple 15 percent, she said.

"They were willing to put sweat equity into it," she said. "They were participants."

Although ambitious homeowners may jump at the opportunity to act as their own general contractor, it can be a harrowing experience. Scott Richardson said that if he had to do it over, he might have opted to hire a general contractor.

"In hindsight, it would have been a lot simpler from a management standpoint to have hired somebody," he said.

But whether they hire someone or not, Rose said, homeowners should be hands-on.

"Go to the job site as often as you can, just to clean up and sweep," she said. "It keeps you there long enough to notice things."

For example, the framing subcontractor may have forgotten about the living-room closet or the coved entrance to the dining room.

"As perfect as we are," Rose said, tongue-in-cheek, "mistakes happen."

Save some money — forgo the champagne

You can't build a home on a budget if you indulge champagne tastes.

"I tell every single person I talk to that it will cost you more to build a house than it will to buy an existing home," Rose said.

But people can make decisions that will keep costs down.

"Most people want to cram every one of their dreams into their house," Rose said. "They develop prejudices toward common building materials."

To cut costs, she said, potential builders must "let some of that go." For instance, wood windows can cost as much as 10 times more than vinyl, and when it comes to countertops, granite is sometimes an unaffordable luxury.

"There's nothing wrong with Formica," Rose said.

Because the size of the home directly correlates to the final price tag, Rose encourages would-be builders to read "The Not So Big House" by Sarah Susanka.

"Most of us think we need a house that's bigger than we really need," she said, encouraging people to scale back on square footage. "It doesn't mean it won't be a nice house. People in Europe have learned to maximize their home space, and they use every room in their house every day. They don't have a special dining room that doesn't get used until the holidays."

In other words, why have a guest bedroom that's used once a year when a pull-out couch in the living room will do?

Or consider a simpler design.

"Think the way the Shakers think, so the elegance is in the simplicity," Rose said. "If you're going to splurge on anything, it should be on insulation. It will pay for itself."

Sarah Jio is a Seattle freelance writer. Reach her at sarah@sarahjio.com.