MySpace gets Mom's seal of approval

I hadn't heard of MySpace.com until my 20-something kids told me about this Web community where young people go to meet others, connect with former classmates, join interest groups and do a lot more.

The site is free, yet offers its members e-mail accounts, games, forums, classifieds, blog software, ways to connect with old and new friends, and special events, among other activities.

To get started, new members create their own Web pages, which can include photos, music, and a Web blog, for example.

Turns out both my older kids are MySpace members and log on fairly often. Even my 13-year-old has friends who visit MySpace.

Since I'm the mother of two MySpace members and somewhat concerned when it comes to kids loose on the Internet, I figure it's my job to find out more about this popular online community.

Plus, as a tech writer, I figure it's my job to share with other parents what I find out.

My first step is to search the Net for articles about MySpace. I Google MySpace.com reviews and get a long list of articles written by journalists and by MySpace users. I read a few and learn a lot.

MySpace has about 85 million users, with about 250,000 new members every day. That's huge.

Because MySpace also provides technology for emerging musicians, singers, and filmmakers to share their work, the site attracts young people who want to make their music and videos public to gain support and get feedback.

Still, most members use the site to create personal pages with text and photos they share with old friends and new ones they meet on MySpace. Sounds good so far.

Some members complain about being contacted by oddballs and unsavory types, claim that the site is open to abuse, that it's addictive and creates an unreal world.

More serious concerns include harassment by other members. Occasionally a member registers as someone else (such as a school principal, in one case) then portrays the person as stupid, dishonest, or having other negative characteristics.

Some members exaggerate or lie in their own profiles to create false images of themselves.

Recently, there were reports that some gang members use MySpace to brag about their illegal activities and to attract new members.

Even worse, child predators reportedly have become MySpace members, creating alluring profiles then trying to befriend other members. Ultimately, they may try to arrange personal meetings with unsuspecting victims that include sexual advances and/or violence.

Arrests of online predators (not just on MySpace) have more than tripled since 2001, yet predator activity online is still way less than overall sexual assaults against minors, according to a recent Time Magazine article.

How can parents protect their kids from online abuse?

First and most important, become involved in, or at least aware of, what your kids are doing online. Ask them about whom they're meeting, and make sure they understand that providing their name, address, phone number, and other personal information can put their safety at risk.

Help them judge their own personal-profile content by imagining what a predator would think after reading it, then what would he do?

Predators often visit community sites like MySpace, looking for potential victims. Above all, teach your kids to be wary of strangers.

One parent has noted MySpace members have the power to approve or deny new friends, and advises kids to deny approval if they don't know the person (outside the site).

Members can also keep their pictures or pages private, viewable only by those accepted as "Friends."

Of course, that means members need to be discriminating about whom they accept as Friends.

All new members are asked to read and sign the site's Terms of Use Agreement, which states members must be at least 14 years old, and that their personal profiles may not include last name, telephone number or street address.

Plus, photographs may not show nudity or content that is obscene, violent, sexually explicit or otherwise objectionable. (Members should also make sure their personal information isn't available elsewhere on their Web pages.)

Members are asked to report violations and misuse of the site by clicking on the "Report Inappropriate Content" link. Site administrators also reserve the right to terminate violators' access to all or any part of the site.

The negative news reports may keep some from joining MySpace and, indeed, the articles I've read tend to emphasize the abuse that does occasionally occur.

But kids can protect themselves from personal danger by following the rules and by refusing to personally meet with new "friends" alone or at some private place.

My older daughter uses MySpace to communicate with current friends and former classmates. She does not respond to strangers who contact her, and does not include any personal information that would enable strangers to locate her.

She says she doesn't use MySpace to meet new people and, consequently, feels safe there. Instead, she uses it to share (with real friends) photos and periodic updates about what she's doing.

My son uses MySpace to contact people he hasn't seen or heard about for a long time. He says the site also is good for connecting with members who have similar interests or concerns — for example, single parents such as himself.

He adds that MySpace offers tools to help creative members design interesting and unique personal pages, which can be a lot of fun for both creators and viewers.

My own motherly opinion is MySpace can be a good way for kids to communicate with known friends as well as acquaintances they would like to know better.

If your child wants to become a member, I'd suggest using it as an opportunity to support the interest and to help him or her become smart about how to stay safe and have fun.

Keep communication about their use of MySpace open and positive, while making sure they understand the risks and how to avoid trouble.

Write Linda Knapp at lknapp@seattletimes.com; to read other Getting Started columns, go to: www.seattletimes.com/gettingstarted