Just Like In The Movies

Happily, we're living ever after

THE OTHER DAY I saw a movie with some unusual twists. The main characters were a married couple, and they had been married for more than 25 years.

Here's where the unusual twists come in. The husband wasn't having an affair! His wife wasn't planning to kill him! Their kids seemed normal! In fact, they seemed to be a normal couple in most every way. In other words, they weren't plotting anything illegal or immoral.

This is not the type of people I expect to see on the big screen.

When having our usual deep discussion about life and daily events, I mentioned to the Truly Unpleasant Mrs. Johnston that I'd seen this movie with a normal couple in it. I said I didn't find them believable. "They weren't even trying to kill each other," I said. "What kind of example is that for the children? Who could live that way?"

Mrs. Johnston put down her magazine (it was the latest edition of "How To Murder Your Husband") and said sweetly: "You boob, we live that way. Most of our friends live like that couple. I can't remember the last time one of them tried to murder their spouse or had an affair."

With that, she went back to reading. The subject was closed.

But the more I thought about it, the more I found — and I hate saying this — to support Mrs. Johnston. We've been married for more than 25 years, too, and when I ran down a checklist of our friends, I realized that most all of them have been married for more than 20 years. What's more, they all seemed pretty happy.

Can this be normal?

Mrs. Johnston and I met 27 years ago. On our first date, I told her I thought it would be a good idea if she moved to Seattle, got married and had some kids and lived her life in wedded bliss. With me, of course.

When Mrs. Johnston didn't run screaming from the room, I took that as a good sign. Of course, Mrs. Johnston had some strict standards. Whoever she married would have to be a good husband and a better father. Mr. Wonderful would also have to keep her amused for 50 years or so.

I passed the halfway mark last year, and I'm still trying to keep her amused. I consider myself the perfect husband.

Unlike most couples in the movies, we and most of the married people we actually know don't lead exciting lives. But we don't have too many complaints, either.

The biggest complaint the Mrs. and I have lately is that we are becoming our parents. Both sets of parents were also married for a long time. And like our parents, we keep the same friends for years. For example, the editor who reads this column is the godmother of a Johnston child. Mrs. Johnston and I once renewed our wedding vows in her back yard. She went to college with Mrs. Johnston's sister.

I think I've told you that this editor actually introduced me to the Mrs. I don't think I mentioned, though, that neither of us is bitter toward her for it.

When I talked about this movie with her and other long-married friends, they all agreed — not with me, of course, but with Mrs. Johnston — that there really are a lot of us normal people, despite what the movies show.

They said I shouldn't see movies with a point, though. They said I might get confused.

That's what's nice about long-term relationships. People are always looking out for you.

Steve Johnston is a retired Seattle Times reporter. His e-mail address is stevejonst@aol.com. Paul Schmid is a Seattle Times news artist.