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Domestic Goddess Rebecca Teagarden

Domestic Goddess

Praise to those things that are pink and plastic and plastered all over

We have something special for you today, dear reader. An issue of which we are compelled to give our undivided attention: a species greatly endangered. Let's begin:

1956-57, it turns out, was quite the fine vintage. Passing the test of time takes, well, time. But the verdict is in on this class. First, the ubiquitous Eames chair turned the Big Five Oh. Then the Goddess herself jetted off to Paris (so that her dear ones would not hear the screaming) for her own dip into the half-century pool. And now this — the 50th birthday of the Pink Flamingo, "the Ambassador of the American Lawn." A happy but also, unfortunately, sad occasion.

Yes, the most visible-charming-amusing-tacky-flashy-campy-pink-and-plasticy lawn ornament ever is 50 years old. But here's the word on the bird: As we wish our plastic-feathered friend happy birthday you must know that it is an endangered species. The fine-feathered friend of our youth? Sadly, oui.

Union Products, of Leominster, Mass., stopped making the official Don Featherstone Pink Flamingo last November (partly because of the cost of plastic resin). It was Featherstone, during the postwar craze for all things sunny and bright and Floridian, who created the kitsch icon. As you can see, Mr. Featherstone, who gave them the faux Latin name "phoenicopteris ruber plasticus," is not without a sense of humor.

So we phoned Mr. Featherstone, now retired, at home in Massachusetts to check the flamingo's pulse. And, with a big sigh, he said, "I wish I knew. It's all in limbo. It's a real mess. Isn't it crazy?

"We were the sole supplier to Wal-Mart, and now I don't know what they're gonna do this year."

Yeah, what?

The plucky pink bird is not Mr. Featherstone's only claim to icon fame. "I did cows and chickens, and anything that went on the lawn and shouldn't have been there in the first place," he told me.

"You know the goose they dress up? That's my goose. Simplicity even made patterns to fit my goose. That goose, as a lamp, that's Gladys Goose."

Do the Featherstones do up their own yard in Pink Flamingo? Yes, indeedy, they do.

"When the snow clears, I put out 57 in the backyard for the year I made it. I wouldn't dare put them out in the front yard. I live in a college town."

Good to know Mr. Featherstone still has that sense of humor of his, even in the face of flamingo extinction: "We made bigger, life-size ones, 5 feet — those are for mansions or extra-large trailers; for people with better poor taste."

What we've got our panties in a twist about here is the authentic Featherstone flamingo. The real deal has Don Featherstone's signature under the tail. Each bird has a yellow beak with a black tip. Until recently, the birds could typically be had for about $10 a pair, one nearly 3 feet high with its head proudly erect, the other bending as if grazing. The Goddess, however, found one lonely pair on Amazon.com for $89.99 not too long ago. But the fine fun folks at Archie McPhee are on this flamingo shortage, of course. "We have a couple barrels," said Jackie Sugita, who works there. "We bought what was left in the factory, so they didn't come in pairs." Archie McPhee was recently selling them for $8.50 a piece.

Oh, please! Like you never had one. An estimated 20 million have been sold to somebody. And if you do have a few, one might stash them next to the Velvet Elvis for safekeeping.

Remember, dears, bad taste is better than no taste at all.

Go outside and play now.

The Domestic Goddess can be reached at pacificnw@seattletimes.com.

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