Advanced search

Letters to the Editor

Love in all its guises

It was refreshing to hear such honest dialogue about real people in loving family situations that do not conform to an American ideal of normalcy or anyone else's idea of love or parenting "Two Mommies, Two Daddies" (March 25).

I am the grown-up daughter of my lesbian mother, her partner, and my father. I was born and raised in Seattle and I moved to New Hampshire five years ago when I was 22 to finish school. While I am truly grateful for the light your article shed on these happy, loving families, I feel it was lacking an important perspective (which is bound to happen when you can't interview every child of gay parents): That of adult children of gay parents — who are still together.

As is often the case in any relationship, gay or straight, the families interviewed in your article were formed on the basis of pretty chaotic relationships. I came away feeling that somehow, gays and lesbians, and gay and lesbian parents in particular, are seen as having left out the notion of monogamy and, more so than most couples, generally don't survive long-lasting relationships.

While each family in your article so clearly shows the utmost love and respect for themselves and their children, I would just mention that there are many gay couples who have reared children and are still together in their kids' adulthood. Maybe not more so than others, but just as much, they deserve to be highlighted if we are ever to show the religious right (and small-minded America) that not only do many gay couples have lasting, monogamous relationships, they have raised children together while maintaining these relationships, often without being recognized by the state as domestic partners, or with little help from the other birth parent.

— Sieglinde Levery-Nicholas, Salem, Mass.

Loved by Mother and Maxie

I just want to thank you for such a caring and sensitive article ("Two Mommies, Two Daddies," March 25). From 1946 to 1956, ages 6 to 16, I was raised by my mother and her lesbian partner, "My Maxie." Mother and Maxine broke up in 1956 but she remained "My Maxie" until her death in 1997. I am sure there was sometimes the "elephant in the room" — their relationship — but as a child I didn't know that.

I was a loved and cherished child not only by Mother and Maxie but by my dad and stepmother, too. Maxie was mother-in-law to my husband and grandmother to my children. I am happy more people have become accepting of same-sex relationships. Thanks for helping that trend.

— Norma "Toby" Wilcox Redmond

Families are families

Kudos for the March 25th article "Two Mommies, Two Daddies." The article demonstrated how families with same-sex parents are similar to other families. All families have challenges and all families have joys.

I am the chairman of Seattle's Lesbian and Gay Child Care Task Force. Our mission is to help early childhood programs provide a welcoming environment for families with same-sex parents. Parents of all children must feel welcomed at their child's first school experience. Children, too, feel more a part of the classroom community when families like theirs are included in the curriculum and activities. And finally, teaching staff are more effective when they are working in a safe and nondiscriminating environment.

Where else but in the wonderful city of Seattle can you read enlightening articles reflecting on growing up with gay parents and know that there is a volunteer group striving to provide a positive environment for the youngest children of gay and lesbian parents. You can contact the Lesbian and Gay Child Care Task Force at: lgtaskforce@gmail.com.

— Bill Sanders, Seattle

Lesbian and Gay Child Care Task Force

Send letters to the editor to Pacific Northwest

magazine, The Seattle Times, P.O. Box 70, Seattle, WA 98111, or e-mail pacificnw@seattletimes.com. Include a telephone number for verification.

Buy a link