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Taste | Top 10 Schemes For Wine Market Share

With a jingle and a joint venture, WA wines are pouring it on

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PAUL GREGUTT / THE SEATTLE TIMES Just say waaaaaaaaa

DESPITE THE FACT that wine is poised to overtake beer as the nation's No. 1 escape valve of choice, the global wine industry remains locked in a titanic battle for survival. Wineries around the world are sounding the alarm because there's an ocean of cheap wine washing over our shores, and the competition for buyers is cutthroat.

Unless you are Chateau Mouton, Lafite or Latour, your Bordeaux is probably going to be converted into biodiesel before you'll ever sell it all. Are you Australian? Better have a yellow-tailed kangaroo on the label or toss your shiraz in the garaze; it's not going anywhere. California? Hoo, boy. If you're a grape grower there, it's time to get ahead of the global-warming curveball and switch to raisins.

Here in Washington, these dire circumstances have not gone unnoticed.

Up until now, the home-team wineries have been somewhat protected by what marketers call "industry bandwidth." In other words, apart from Ste. Michelle's portfolio of wineries, Washington's 475 other wineries each produce an average of just 137 cases of wine annually. They can price it as high as they like and sell it all to friends and family, or trade it like currency if things get really tight.

But things are changing. With production ramping up dramatically — vineyard acreage in the state has grown from 29,000 to 30,000 acres in just the past six years — the Washington Wine Commission, along with the Washington Association of Wine Grape Growers, is about to float a bold new plan to market the coming surplus.

Top-secret talks with representatives of the Wine Industry Association of Western Australia, who have come up with a marketing effort that eagerly embraces this state's own "Say WA" campaign, have begun to bear fruit. The Western Australians, panting to sell their wines in the U.S. market, at first considered calling themselves "the other WA." But when told that Washington, D.C., and Washington state were already at odds over which was, in fact, "the other WA," the Australians went back to the drawing board.

They came up with "Drink WA" and were just about to roll it out in a million-dollar campaign when our local marketers got wind of it. At first blush, it seemed clear that things were on a collision course, with the Australians saying "Drink WA" and the Washingtonians talking up "The Perfect Climate For Wine," this state's chosen slogan.

Then, the light bulb burst into flame. Why not combine the two in a joint marketing effort!?!

"Drink WA In The Perfect Climate For Wine" will be the theme of a newly-minted joint venture between the two WA's. It is believed to be the first time in history that the sister-city concept has been applied to entire wine regions.

Large billboards in both regions will show happy consumers drinking Syrah/Shiraz, Unoaked/Unwooded Chardonnay, Wet/Dry Riesling and other popular varietals. Wines will be tied into local menus, but in an effort to bring new ideas to the forefront, the menus will be flipped. Australians will learn about the pleasures of Lemberger with geoduck, while Washington residents will be invited to enjoy their fried Red Emperor and Dhufish with a crisp SBS (Sauvignon Blanc/Semillon) blend.

An exchange of vintners is also planned, although the initial idea to trade winemakers straight across — Walla Walla for Wagga Wagga — had to be scrapped when it was discovered that Wagga Wagga, though home to a fine winemaking university, is unfortunately located in New South Wales.

Happily, both regions boast perfect climates for growing wine grapes, although each has its unique challenges. Here in Washington, winemakers must contend with periodic Arctic blasts that can kill grapevines down to their roots. In Western Australia, the winters are mild, but rampaging kangaroos can create havoc in vineyards. It's a well-documented fact that no one there drives in wine country after dark, because a deranged marsupial, 7 feet tall and sporting a glazed, 'roo-in-the-headlights' look, may jump out of the bush at any moment and land in the front seat of your car.

The centerpiece of the upcoming campaign will be a contest asking consumers to write their own tasting notes for the other region's wines. Washington wine drinkers will be able to choose from a list of typical Australian wine descriptors including gooseberry, passion fruit, cat's pee, marmalade, kerosene, bath salts, lanolin, tomato bush, lantana, nettles, quince, loquat and treacle. Australian entrants will be asked to select from among these standard descriptors for Washington wines: cherry, coffee and buttered toast.

Winning entries will be published in the Wine Expectorator.

Paul Gregutt enjoys pulling your leg on April Fools' Day and writing about real wine news the rest of the year. He can be reached at paulgregutt@mac.com.