Guidebook offers new look at, um, bonding with nature

For this Valentine's Day edition of Northwest Weekend, here's an outdoors story on a topic that's, uh, not exactly what we usually cover. Call the rating PG-13 (for mild sexual content).

Items on Michelle Waitzman's personal "Ten Essentials" camping list: liqueur, chocolate, lip balm, matable sleeping bags, touchable sleepwear. Lingerie, she points out, is low-bulk and ultralight.

The most important course of any evening camp meal? Dessert. "The sexiest of all," she said.Waitzman, a 38-year-old Toronto native who has migrated to New Zealand, is a first-time author, off-trail romantic and advocate of regular backcountry conjugal visits for outdoor-loving couples.

Nothing recharges an urban partnership better, she maintains, than sharing an outdoor adventure by day, then shakin' the stakes at night.

That belief, which the former television producer credits for enriching her relationship with her partner of nearly three years, ultimately led her to pen a wink-wink/nudge-nudge guidebook for using the outdoors to deepen intimate relations.

Some retailers, such as REI, won't stock the title. Too explicit for some tastes. In stores that do carry it, Valentine's Day shoppers should be able to spot it quickly. Look for the bright-red cover and indelicate title: "Sex in a Tent" (Wilderness Press, $14.95).

Cupid, your trail guide

Just how wild does Waitzman get in the wild?

"I'm not constantly looking for a place to nip off the trail, ... " she said via an e-mail interview.

"For me the experience is more cumulative — the sun on my face, the wind in my hair, the sweat trickling down my back and my man by my side," she said. "It adds up to a sensual experience that brings out my libido when the light starts to fade."

Despite its blunt title, suggestive illustrations and occasionally frank content, "Sex in a Tent" is not a swinger's guide to the outdoors.

Waitzman, with no training as a counselor, comes across as more trail Cupid than backcountry vixen. Her book contains dozens of anecdotes she gathered from educators and outdoors people who responded to her inquiries on Web sites and in public forums.

Her advice leans more toward practical than promiscuous, more spunky than salacious. Think of a much younger Sue Johansen (TV's "Talk Sex with Sue") in hiking boots.

Her core message: Couples sometimes need a spark, and sometimes it helps to chart a shared course that veers off the conventional lovemaking map. Embrace the unpredictability and sense of discovery inherent in a more primal setting. A "land of many uses" — as the Forest Service likes to boast of its domain — can host an earthy romantic rendezvous.

"Men seem more intrigued when they see the book or hear the title, but in the end, I think it's the women who read the whole thing and make suggestions about what they'd like to try," Waitzman said. "I think for some guys, admitting to reading a book about improving their sex lives is like asking for directions. They don't want to admit they don't already know everything on the subject."

Couples who camp together ...

Among her favorite nuggets of advice:

• Get sleeping bags that zip together. (Often this involves bags from the same maker, made in the same model year, with opposing left-right zippers of the same size.)

• Exchange massages.

• Get off the beaten path. "Isolation is one of the keys to making camping trips sexier," she said.

An extended outdoor excursion can reveal much about a companion. One story in Waitzman's book describes an aggressive climber who startled his female partner with demanding behavior she had never seen manifested in urban settings. She ultimately paired up with his laid-back buddy who was on the same climb.

"The tips I found most valuable were actually the ones about how to avoid getting into fights," Waitzman said. "Nothing kills the mood like a squabble over how to put up the tent, or who forgot to pack extra batteries for the flashlight."

For one woman, camping suddenly opened the lines of communication with her mate. "At home, we only talk during commercials," the woman said.

Waitzman also touches on car camping (though I wouldn't want to walk in on a couple who took her mischievous advice to bathe together late at night in a community campground shower). Paddling, too. She also goes heavy on recipes. "I love to cook!" she said.

What does she hope this book ultimately accomplishes? "That couples will realize that camping together is great for their relationships," she said.

"Not only will you be spending lots of quality time with each other, and getting your love life out of its usual routine, but you can do this forever. One of the things I love to see is a couple in their 60s or 70s still out on the trails together. It's a lifelong experience you can share. I'm just trying to spread the love!"

Freelance writer Terry Wood is also the Expert Advice editor for REI.com. This is his first career article on sex in a tent. Reach him at farhiker@rei.com.