Trout Bums | Grilling fake fly-fishers

So here's my question. Why are all the new BBQ grills so enormous?

About eight years ago I bought a new Ducane gas grill and have used it in the neighborhood of 1,500 times. It is getting a little tired and some of the stainless steel is burned away.

This was the grill I had always wanted, the Mercedes of grills. In the past, I had a cheapo gas grill that I burned at least $1,000 worth of meat to cinders, and I could really never figure the thing out. Every grilling guy has started with a Burn-It grill like this with hot spots to work around. Mine was one big hot spot and to top it off, you had to assemble it yourself.

That first light-up was thrilling. A little bit like building a bomb. And how come I had extra parts left over?

Knowing that time was running out on my beloved Ducane, I started shopping for a new grill. Of course, the first place I checked was Ducane, but the company had been sold and my model was no longer available. Now I was starting to panic and really began to look at what was on the market. Huge all-stainless steel contraptions with side burners and garbage cans attached. I never needed a side burner before. What am I going to use that for? I have a whole kitchen in the house. These grills are so big you have to leave them outside year around, or leave one car out of the garage to make room for the Monster Side Burner Stainless Jumbo Capacity Grill Giant X2000.

Too much, too complicated, too darn silly for a grown man.

The fly-fishing world is approaching this kind of jazzed-up consumer nightmare. It's as if now you can just purchase at a fly shop the kind of skill and instinct it takes to become a fishing god. Or rent some space on a pay-for-play lake and catch some huge genetically-engineered pig; "Step right up, get your picture taken with a fish too stupid to know the difference between living and dying."

This fly-fishing game is one you have to earn; you can't buy game.

Most of the joy of our sport is about the journey. The time it takes to arrive at excellence. A lifetime sacrificed to learn a few fishing truths. In the end, what did you really learn?

Among other things I've learned, I don't need snappy fishing shirts or a Godzilla grill to make me happy.

I was able to solve my BBQ problem with one phone call to Ducane. They still have parts for my grill, and for a few dollars I'm back in business.

Trout Bums appears on the first Tuesday of each month. Randal Sumner owns Blue Skies Guide Service on the Yakima River. He can be reached at guides@blueskiesfishing.com.