Referendum 71 vote casts uncertain shadow over many Washington families

ON the first day of our vacation to Maui, my partner was tossed by a wicked wave, staggered out of the water and collapsed onto the sand.

Her face was carved up and her arm was numb prompting the very handsome lifeguards to pop a cervical collar on her neck and strap her down to a backboard. The not-so-handsome paramedics arrived and announced I could meet her at the hospital at the other end of the island. Our children were cool under pressure and I kept it all together for them as we watched them put Elizabeth onto a gurney, haul her off the beach and take off in the ambulance.

I took the kids back to the condo, found Elizabeth's purse and rushed off to the hospital. Alone in the car, I burst into tears, called a friend and let out all the emotion I had been holding inside.

As I neared the hospital, I started worrying about my reception. You see, Elizabeth is not just my partner — she is my domestic partner. Our 20-year marriage under the care of a Quaker meeting is not recognized as marriage by the government, leaving me with few of the rights married people often take for granted.

I started working through the scenarios if the hospital personnel would not let me see her. First — I am a big strong girl and would physically threaten the first person who tried to deny me access. Second I would threaten to sue them. Or maybe I would try tears and put on the pathetic face my dog uses when she wants a walk. Maybe I could appeal to reason. The more I thought about this, the more worked up I became. I alternated between being scared and being really, really angry.

When I pulled up at the hospital, I went through Elizabeth's purse to find her identification and her health-insurance card. While looking, I came across her card that says we are registered as domestic partners in Washington state. The relief I felt was akin to the feeling of the monkey of anti-gay-rights activist Fred Phelps falling off my back. I gathered up my ammunition and marched off to the emergency room to see my beloved.

The good news is I did not need the domestic partnership card at all. The admitting staff was ready for me and after taking one copy of the health-insurance card took me right back to Elizabeth. She immediately burst into tears just at the relief of having me with her. The even better story is that she had only bruised a nerve and, although it is painful, she will make a full recovery.

But uncertainty does cloud the future of families like mine.

Now 137,689 of my fellow Washington citizens have decided that my family does not deserve this peace of mind, succeeding in placing Referendum 71 on the November ballot.

The way Referendum 71 will appear on the ballot, a "no" vote could overturn basic rights the Legislature decided earlier this year to grant to families like mine. A "yes" vote would affirm the expansion of Washington's domestic-partnership rights.

I am not grateful that my civil rights were "given" to me by the Legislature and I am deeply angry that they are now up for debate.

Let's do the right thing in our state. Let's defeat the intentions of the people who succeeded in placing Referendum 71 on the ballot. Let's send a strong message that the remaining 6,411,535 of us in Washington are fair and tolerant and that we support the rights of all families to have on a daily basis the security that piece of paper gave me during our big scare in Hawaii.