Guest columnist
A gay Northwest pastor's self-defining moment

By Mark Edward Williams
Special to The Times

	COURTESY OF KAREN DAMMANN The Rev. Karen Dammann faces a church trial this week.
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The Rev. Karen Dammann faces a church trial this week for acknowledging that she is in a "partnered, covenanted, homosexual relationship." The trial, to be held at Bothell United Methodist Church, will determine whether Dammann is in violation of church laws that prohibit "self-avowed practicing homosexuals" from being United Methodist pastors.

The Seattle area once again stands at the forefront of the struggle for equal justice for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people.

Closeted gay clergy likely serve the church all over the country. But Seattle is one of the few cities safe enough to inspire gay clergy to come out of the closet despite the church's policies. The Pacific Northwest is progressive enough that several gay, lesbian and bisexual clergy here have chosen to come out and face possible denominational sanctions, knowing that they have the support of their community and local congregations.

United Methodist representatives from around the world approve the denomination's policies, but the greatest concentration of United Methodists, and thus the greatest political power in the church, rests in the conservative Southeastern United States.

The rest of the denomination considers United Methodists in the West as left-wing radicals. They have come to expect us to defy the church's declaration that the practice of homosexuality is "incompatible with Christian teaching."

There are few places where a lesbian pastor would have better chances of successfully confronting homophobic church policies. And if Dammann, the pastor at Ellensburg United Methodist Church, is acquitted, her trial will stand as a bold statement that United Methodists in the Pacific Northwest do not believe that God condones human bigotry.

An acquittal could pave the way for this and other progressive regions of the church to more fully celebrate God's gifts for ministry for gay United Methodists.

Dammann made a powerful set of choices in coming out of the closet and staying in the church. When she came out, she engaged in a profound act of defiance against unjust church laws. No longer intimidated, she demanded justice and honesty.

Once, perhaps, it was accurate to describe her as a victim of the ignorance and bigotry of the church. But she isn't a victim any longer. She doesn't need permission to be herself. Her commitment to remain in the church and embrace the church's judicial process rather than walk away from the denomination and shake the dust from her feet has been powerful to watch. And it has been empowering for her.

I made a similar choice as a United Methodist pastor. I chose to face church judicial proceedings for publicly acknowledging my sexual orientation. While the specific case against me was dismissed and I was returned to serve in ministry, an investigative committee, in confidential proceedings, has since forwarded Dammann's case to a church trial.

My choice in 2001 to come out and remain within the church was one of the most empowering moments in my life. I claimed my voice, and I became fierce, in a whole new way, in my ministry and spirit. The church could no longer make a victim of me, because I refused to allow it.

The church might make decisions that could exclude me from ministry; but I would never again live in fear of being known. I will never again be made a victim, no matter what the United Methodist General Conference decides, no matter what ruling our Judicial Council hands down, no matter what any church trial, committee on investigation, or bishop pronounces about my life.

Dammann's willingness to come before a church trial is a moment of self-definition. She has the opportunity to go on record declaring that she is fully a child of God who needs not stand ashamed for how God created her. Dammann is engaging in a most powerful act of faithful obedience to God's call in defiance of the injustices of the church.

I hope the trial will also be an opportunity for United Methodists in the Pacific Northwest to go on record declaring that the church is an agent of God's understanding and grace. This trial may prove to be a historic moment, when church laws based upon outdated notions of sexuality and gender will begin to be unraveled by prophetic acts of faith. That is my hope and prayer.

The Rev. Mark Edward Williams is pastor of Woodland Park United Methodist Church in Seattle and a member of the Reconciling Ministries Network and Reconciling Ministries Clergy, a national grass-roots movement within the United Methodist Church.

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