You have more to spare than you think you do

You would expect a rabbi to refer to the holiest of tomes when asked why we should give to those in need.

But not Rabbi Yohanna Kinberg. She went straight to the "Seinfeld" archives.

In an episode called "The Stall," Elaine was in the ladies room when she discovered she had no toilet paper. She asked the woman in the adjoining stall to help her out.

"No, I don't have a square to spare," the woman told her. "I can't spare a square."

Kinberg, of the Temple B'nai Torah in Bellevue, thinks there's a sobering thought behind the humor — so much so that she used the episode in a recent sermon.

"The Seinfeld characters are completely neurotic and greedy," she told me. "But if everyone acts like that, then we have a really impoverished society."

It's something to think about as we kick off The Seattle Times Fund For The Needy.

None of us really feels like we can spare a square — and we all have our reasons. Financial worries brought on by layoffs and furloughs, stock drops and cost increases.

But if we don't give to others, we miss out on being a part of something big, Kinberg said.

And we lose the chance to see that while we may have given something away, we still have so much left. An abundance, really.

She's right; The Fund For The Needy had one of its biggest years ever in 2008 — a time when we were bailing out the Big Three automakers, blasting Bernie Madoff and feeling flat about the future.

So what is behind the psychology of giving?

"Feeling affluent or feeling impoverished is a state of mind," Kinberg believes. "You want to see the world from a place of abundance as opposed to adversity or want."

It also helps to consider the faces behind the agencies that the Fund will benefit — faces we'll be featuring in stories throughout the season.

Peter Singer, the Ira W. DeCamp professor of bioethics at Princeton University, believes that people are more inclined to give when they can put a face to what they're being asked to fund.

"They are more likely to respond to a request to help an individual, rather than a large number of people," said Singer, the author of "The Life You Can Save."

Say you're walking by a pond and see a small child fall in, apparently in danger of drowning, Singer says. The child is unattended. Of course you would rush into the water to save the child without even stopping to take off your expensive shoes. Right?

It's the same thing with giving to those in need. Aren't their lives worth more than your spendy shoes? A latte? Cable?

Singer directed me to www.thelifeyoucansave.com, where people can calculate how much they should spare.

"What do we get out of it?" Singer asked. "Well, I suppose we get some sort of warm glow, knowing we could help. Our lives become more meaningful."

Kinberg understands the pressure we're all under. If you've ever written a check to a charity, you're likely being bombarded right now.

"There is a lot of stress."

So when choosing where to give, Kinberg said, prioritize.

The rabbi gives to homeless women, and charities that help older people and children — the most vulnerable, in her view.

Find your own priority in our stories, and give what you can with those faces in mind.

"We may feel impoverished because we lost stocks or our hours have been cut," Kinberg said. "But we can still put food on the table."

We can certainly spare a square.

Nicole Brodeur's column appears Tuesday and Friday. Reach her at 206-464-2334 or nbrodeur@seattletimes.com.

Even a Junior Mint or two.