Sometimes sharing isn't safe

It took Linda Criddle just 20 seconds to find the woman's address and phone number; 20 more to get a satellite photo of her house.

That the woman was in grief — and therefore vulnerable — with a 9-year-old daughter at home, well, Criddle didn't have to look that up. It was all over the woman's online diary.

So Criddle called the woman to warn her against what we jokingly call TMI — too much information — but what predators might call pay dirt.

Criddle, 46, a senior product manager for child safety at Microsoft in Redmond, worries about what everyone posts online. But as crimes connected to social-networking sites such as MySpace.com creep up, she's especially worried about what kids share about themselves.

A 16-year-old girl from New York state was kidnapped and molested last fall by a 37-year-old man she met on MySpace.com. A 14-year-old New Jersey girl was found dead in a trash bin earlier this month. Police have not found her killer, but she told friends she had met a man on MySpace.

In response, some schools have blocked MySpace from school computers; one New Jersey high school threatened students with suspension if they use the site, even at home.

In Seattle Public Schools, computers are filtered so that students have no access to chat rooms. But access to sites like MySpace.com is allowed.

"It's not an issue here," said spokesman Peter Daniels.

But shouldn't it be? A 1999 study showed some 80 percent of Seattle residents have computer access. With that level of availability, parents and kids need to be educated, said Criddle, a mother of four.

Kids should be taught Internet safety in the same way they were taught to look both ways and not to talk to strangers.

"Tell them: If you wouldn't share this information with the creepiest person on the street, then you don't want to share this on the public Internet."

And yet, sharing so much of their lives is a "developmental phase" for some teenagers, Criddle said.

"They've burst out of a cocoon and they're trying to create their identity and meet people," she said. "So they're sharing every last narcissistic picture. The problem is that they're sharing it with hundreds of millions of people."

Racy photos and suggestive user names might get attention, but from whom?

Criddle showed me photos taken from one girl's page: One shows her sitting in front of her house, another shows the view from the porch. Pretty boring.

But look, Criddle said: You can see how old she is. There's a school name on her shirt. A number on the house. A distinctive building, a street sign.

"Lose the house number," Criddle said. "Change the T-shirt."

Parents should make time with their child to review their page. (Give them a day to edit first.) Then, look for TMI. Always an eye-opener.

"There is reason to be concerned," Criddle said. "But how we act on that concern will keep us all safe."

Nicole Brodeur's column appears Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday. Reach her at 206-464-2334 or nbrodeur@seattletimes.com.

Check my online column for more safety tips.