Sinatra's song often strikes deadly chord in Philippines

GENERAL SANTOS, Philippines — After a day of barbering, Rodolfo Gregorio went to his neighborhood karaoke bar. Putting aside his glass of Red Horse Extra Strong beer, he grasped a microphone and briefly stilled the room with the Platters' "My Prayer."

Next, he belted out crowd-pleasers by Tom Jones and Engelbert Humperdinck. But Gregorio, 63, a witness to countless fistfights and occasional stabbings erupting from disputes over karaoke singing, did not dare choose one beloved classic: Frank Sinatra's version of "My Way."

"I used to like 'My Way,' but after all the trouble, I stopped singing it," he said. "You can get killed."

The authorities do not know exactly how many people have been killed warbling "My Way" in karaoke bars over the years in the Philippines, or how many fatal fights it has fueled. But the news media has recorded at least six victims in the past decade and includes them in a subcategory of crime dubbed the "My Way Killings."

The slayings have spawned urban legends about the song and left Filipinos groping for answers. Are the killings the natural byproduct of the country's culture of violence, drinking and machismo? Or is there something inherently sinister in the song?

Whatever the reason, many karaoke bars have removed the song from their playbooks. And the country's many Sinatra lovers, such as Gregorio in General Santos, in the southernmost Philippines, are practicing self-censorship out of perceived self-preservation.

Karaoke-related killings are not limited to the Philippines. In the past two years, a Malaysian man was fatally stabbed for monopolizing the microphone at a bar and a Thai man killed eight neighbors in a rage after they sang John Denver's "Take Me Home, Country Roads."

Karaoke-related assaults have also occurred in the United States, including at a Seattle bar where a woman punched a man for singing Coldplay's "Yellow" after criticizing his version.

Still, the odds of getting killed during karaoke may be higher in the Philippines, if only because of the ubiquity of the pastime. Social get-togethers invariably involve karaoke. Stand-alone karaoke machines can be found in unlikely settings, including outdoors in rural areas where men can sometimes be seen singing early in the morning.

And Filipinos, who pride themselves on their singing, may have a lower tolerance for bad singers. Indeed, most of the "My Way" killings have reportedly occurred after the singer sang out of tune, causing other patrons to laugh or jeer. "The trouble with 'My Way,' " said Gregorio, "is that everyone knows it and everyone has an opinion."

Others, noting that other equally popular tunes have not provoked killings, point to the song itself. The lyrics, written by Paul Anka for Sinatra as an unapologetic summing up of his career, are about a tough guy who "when there was doubt," simply "ate it up and spit it out."

Butch Albarracin, the owner of Center for Pop, a Manila-based singing school, was partial to what he called the "existential explanation."

" 'I did it my way' — it's so arrogant," he said. "The lyrics evoke feelings of pride and arrogance in the singer, as if you're somebody when you're really nobody. It covers up your failures. That's why it leads to fights."

Defenders of "My Way" say it is a victim of its own popularity. Because it is sung more often than most songs, the thinking goes, karaoke-related violence is more likely to occur while people are singing it. The real reasons behind the violence are breaches of karaoke etiquette, such as monopolizing the microphone, laughing at someone's singing or choosing a song that has already been sung.

"The Philippines is a very violent society, so karaoke only triggers what already exists here when certain social rules are broken," said Roland Tolentino, a pop-culture expert at the University of the Philippines. But even he hedged, noting that the song's "triumphalist" nature might contribute to the violence.

Some karaoke lovers are not taking chances, not even at family gatherings.

In Manila, Alisa Gabby, 33, and her relatives invariably gather before a karaoke machine, but they banned "My Way" after an uncle, listening to a friend sing the song at a bar, became enraged at the laughter coming from the next table.

The uncle, a police officer, pulled out his revolver, after which the customers at the next table quietly paid their bill and left.