Families grieve as Iraq toll mounts

WELLSBORO, Pa. — Four were teenagers. Thirty were 21 or younger. The oldest was 53. They left homes in big cities and small prairie towns and Southern hamlets to answer the call of duty in Iraq, where 103 soldiers, Marines, airmen and seamen died in October — the war's fourth-deadliest month and the worst since January 2005.

On the final day of October, Sgt. 1st Class Tony Knier, who needed his mother's permission to join the Army at 16, returned in a casket to the coarse green hills of central Pennsylvania.

The casket was closed. Knier, 31, was killed Oct. 21 by a roadside bomb that fractured his skull. On a day when the American death toll in Iraq stood at 2,814, a few of the mourners came right out and said it: They weren't sure he died for a good cause. But all agreed on what serving in Iraq meant to Tony.

His widow, Bobbi Knier, who first met Tony when she was a 16-year-old cheerleader, said her husband "wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else." She spoke without tears. "My husband," she said. "He's awesome. He's Army."

Among the veterans who counseled Bobbi was Fred Audinwood, 78, a Korean War veteran who lost his older brother in World War II. When he approaches bereaved families now, Audinwood said, he acknowledges that "this war is not understood well."

"My country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty," he said. "This death thing is a price we have to pay."

The price has been paid each month since the war began in March 2003. This October was worse than most, the Pentagon said, in part because American troops have been diverted to Baghdad, where Iraqi security forces have failed to control sectarian violence.

The October total could increase. The Pentagon sometimes delays announcing combat deaths.

In Aurora, Ill., on Monday, U.S. flags held by volunteers snapped in a brisk wind outside San Pablo Evangelical Lutheran Church as mourners said farewell to Marine sniper Eduardo "Eddy" Lopez, 21. Lopez, a lance corporal, had survived duty in Afghanistan but was killed Oct. 19 during combat in the insurgent stronghold of Anbar Province.

Before he left for Iraq, Lopez had come to the church of his childhood to hear one final service. Afterward, he sought out the Rev. Alex Merlo and asked for his blessing.

"He said: 'If something happens to me, if I die in war, take me back to our church. Make sure I get home,' " Merlo recalled.

The minister kept his promise. Lopez was back at San Pablo Monday, inside a flag-draped casket.

In Portland, a bugler sounded taps and uniformed men fired rifles into the crisp air Monday to honor Staff Sgt. Ronald Lee Paulson. A civil-affairs officer and Army Reservist, Paulson was killed Oct. 17 by a roadside bomb. He was 53, the oldest American to die in the war in October. At Willamette National Cemetery on a hill high above the city, his widow, Beverly Paulson, accepted a folded Stars and Strips as bagpipes played.

Before being recalled to active duty in December 2005, Paulson had spent 14 years at Gunderson Inc., which makes railcars and barges.

In Apex, N.C., the family of Army Maj. David G. Taylor Jr. filed into a red-brick funeral home Tuesday to plan his services, scheduled for Thursday. Taylor, 37, was the highest-ranking serviceman to die last month. He was killed when a roadside bomb exploded next to his Humvee in Baghdad Oct. 22 as he trained new arrivals.

Taylor was able to take midtour leave to be with his wife, Michelle, when she gave birth to the couple's first child, Jacob, now 4 months old. His family asked that, in lieu of flowers, people thank a soldier, police officer or firefighter for service to the country.

In Rancho Cucamonga, Calif., the death of Army Capt. Mark Paine left his mother deeply conflicted. Paine, 32, died when a roadside bomb was detonated next to his Humvee Oct. 15 near Taji, north of Baghdad.

"Am I proud?" Kairyn Paine, 56, asked with a weary sigh. "Yes, of course, but what does this say about our strategy over there?"

Once a staunch supporter of President Bush, Paine said she has undergone "a complete change of heart as I've watched the failed strategy unfold." Mark was troubled by the way the war has divided the country, she said, but he never questioned his commander in chief's strategy.

Roger Paine, 63, called his son a warrior who "died doing exactly what he wanted to do."

Mark left a hospital — where he had been recuperating from a concussion caused by a roadside bomb — to join his unit when he heard the soldiers were engaged in intense fighting, his mother said. He was one of 10 officers and one of 10 Californians to die last month.

In Michigan, the governor ordered all flags in the state lowered today to honor two Michigan Marines. Lance Cpl. Nicholas J. Manoukian, 22, and Lance Cpl. Clifford R. Collinsworth, 20, were killed Oct. 21 when their Humvee struck a roadside bomb.

As casualties mounted last month, Collinsworth's family grew apprehensive. "We worried and we worried and then it happened," said his aunt, Debbie Ellis. "You can't believe it until it happens to you."

The month's first casualty was Sgt. Denise A. Lannaman, 46, a New York National Guard soldier. Lannaman, the only woman among the October casualties, died from a "noncombat related incident" at Camp Arifjan, Kuwait, the Pentagon said. Anyone killed in the theater of military operations is included in the monthly Iraq death toll.

Most of the October casualties were Army. One-quarter were Marines. There were three airmen and two sailors.

Each individual death dealt a blow to family and friends. Betty Tidwell stood near her son's flag-draped casket inside a funeral home in Pennsylvania and recalled his campaign to join the Army Reserves at 16. Tony Knier tried several times to persuade her to sign a release. She finally relented, but only after asking for a promise from the recruiter that her son would not be hurt. The recruiter said he could not promise anything. But he would try.

On Oct. 21, Tidwell received the call that her son was gone. "I must have fallen down," she said, "because my husband picked me up."

The war that claimed her son means different things to the people who loved him.

Tony's brother, Richard, 33, wants to stay the course. "Now that we're there, we've got to finish what we started," he said.

Tony's uncle and godfather, John Knier, 69, said Tony "did what he had to do. He figured he was doing it for himself and for the whole country." He grimaced, and then went on: "I feel bitter toward the war. We're not going to gain nothing out of it. It means nothing."

Tony's best friend, Brett May, 31, said, "There's no justification at all."

Bobbi is struggling to explain Tony's death to their three children. Kayli, 2, is too young to understand.

Dakoda, 6, asked his mother the night before the funeral: "Why did Daddy have to die?"

Bobbi said she answered: "Honey, you know, Mommy doesn't know. But God does have a plan for us all."

Marcus, 8, had told his mother that he was angry with her and his father for saying that Tony would be just fine in Iraq.

"Mommy lied to me," he told his mother. "Daddy lied to me."

But the next day, at his father's funeral, Marcus said: "Put this in the paper: My dad will never be forgotten."

Barry reported from Pennsylvania, Zucchino from North Carolina and Huffstutter from Illinois. Times staff writers Lynn Marshall in Oregon, and Tony Perry and Joel Rubin in California contributed to this report.