American curios take up residence in unassuming office

AUSTIN, Texas — I just missed William Shatner's kidney stone.

It was, unfortunately, at the picture framer's, being pressed under glass inside a tasteful box.

I did, however, get to see the stent that was inserted into Captain Kirk's urethra to help him pass the stone. And Britney Spears' positive pregnancy test. And the frying pan with an image of Jesus burned into the bottom.

And to my everlasting good fortune, the Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese Sandwich was in residence and not on tour, so I experienced that epiphany as well — although the image on the stale triangular snack looked more like Marlene Dietrich to me.

Believe it or not, these and other national treasures are not on display in any museum, nor are they protected inside a fortified bank vault. They are all housed inside a small office on the eighth floor of a generic office building in downtown Austin. Passers-by on the streets below have no idea what they are missing.

This rare collection is the property of an online casino, GoldenPalace.com, which has spent nearly $2 million assembling dozens of curios as part of a publicity campaign.

If the Smithsonian started acquiring things on eBay — and hired a crazed curator from Ripley's to do the bidding — the resulting collection might resemble the pop-culture items now stacked on a bookshelf and scattered on the floor of Glass Eye Entertainment, an Austin software company. Glass Eye designed an early version of the software used by the Antigua-based online casino and today still acts as the buying agent for the various artifacts.

Here inside the Glass Eye office you can find a size 69HH silicone breast implant that previously enhanced Tawny Peaks, a former Playboy model. The casino bid $16,766 on eBay for the implant.

There is also a pretzel shaped like the Madonna and Child. That one went for $10,600. And the "Shower Jesus" — a chunk of divinely water-stained plaster from a Pittsburgh man's bathroom — cost $1,999.99.

The Spears collection is particularly deep. In addition to the pregnancy test — acquired for an unspecified sum from a seller who got it from a maid who got it from a wastebasket in a bathroom in a Los Angeles hotel where Spears and husband Kevin Federline supposedly stayed — the casino also owns a half-full water bottle said to have been used by Spears (winning bid: $495). And there's also the baby pacifier reportedly used by Spears, bought for $69 from a seller who said she got it at a yard sale at Spears' childhood home in Kentwood, La.

Speaking of babies, the casino also owns an ultrasound image of Angelina Jolie's fetus. Or at least it says "Angelina Jolie" on the small strip of thermal paper.

If the chain of custody of some of the items is questionable, Jon Wolf, a custodians of the collection, is not troubled.

"Probably the Britney Spears positive pregnancy test would not pass NYPD evidentiary standards," Wolf acknowledged. "But the story with the maid certainly sounds believable."

At least there is no question about the provenance of the Shatner kidney stone. The "Star Trek" star personally handed it to a GoldenPalace.com representative in January in exchange for a check for $25,000. Proceeds benefited Habitat for Humanity.

Nor is there any doubt about the world-famous Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese Sandwich, or the VMGCS as it is known to admirers. Glass Eye President Monty Kerr traveled to Hollywood, Fla., to inspect the half-sandwich with a bite taken out before offering the winning eBay bid of $28,000.

Soon more people will get a chance to see the VMGCS, the Spears collection and many other rare pieces. GoldenPalace.com is outfitting a trailer, which will make the rounds of state fairs this summer.