WICHITA, Kan. — The Rev. Michael Clark thought he knew Dennis Rader well. He was the guy who lit the candles, fixed the sound system, and seemed to spend almost as much time at church as the pastor did.

So it was almost too much to bear when police announced that Rader is the BTK killer.

"I was dumbfounded, I was bewildered, I was shocked," Clark said, recalling how he stood distraught in the shower Sunday morning, nearly two days after learning the news. "It's not possible. Not the Dennis that I know."

Clark now is confronted with a task he was not trained for: How do you minister to the soul of a man you thought was a pillar of the community but now is accused of strangling 10 people?

Michael Clark, Rader's pastor in Wichita, Kan.

Since Rader's arrest Feb. 25, Clark has been virtually the only person defending a man accused of the indefensible. The 400 members of his congregation, Clark said, face a critical juncture: They either will grow closer or divide over the horrific allegations.

Clark, 61, came to Wichita four years ago to lead Christ Lutheran Church; he fast became familiar with Rader — hard worker, husband, father of two, devoted volunteer. Rader had been active on the church council, elected to serve, and ascended to the board's presidency in January.

"I could always call on Dennis if I needed some help," Clark said.

And so the detectives' news that came to Christ Lutheran's door that Friday was unbelievable.

"They said they were looking for evidence in the BTK serial-murder case and that Dennis Rader was a suspect," Clark said. "I was just totally floored. I sat there ... just trying to figure out what he said."

Authorities were led to the church by a computer diskette sent to a TV station; it apparently contained an electronic imprint from the church computer.

The experience has been so wrenching that Clark said he wept when he met with his therapist three days after the arrest.

He has given media interviews, ministered to his flock, including Rader's shocked wife, and prayed with a shackled Rader in jail.

"I do not have the privilege of assuming that he's guilty," Clark said. "I have to stand there with him and help him through this, whatever the outcome.

"If Dennis has done what they've alleged he did, then he must pay the price. It still does not have any effect on how I minister to him. I still will love him."