"American Candidate" program is television's ultimate also-ran

By Ed Bark
The Dallas Morning News

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DALLAS — Old quandary: If a tree falls in a forest and no one hears it, does it make a sound?

New quandary: If a show airs on Showtime and no one sees it, is it a show?

Actually, the premium cable channel's premiere of "American Candidate" was watched by a sub-puny national audience of 128,000 last Sunday night. Compared to that, the low-rated Democratic National Convention qualified as a veritable "American Idol." Its smallest audience, on either a broadcast or cable channel, was 1.07 million viewers for MSNBC's prime-time coverage of the convention's third night.

Created by filmmaker R.J. Cutler ("The War Room" and last summer's disastrous "The Real Roseanne Show"), the first episode of "American Candidate" also made a two-time loser of the Gephardt family.

Rep. Dick Gephardt, D-Mo., dropped out of the Democratic presidential field in January after flunking his first test, the Iowa caucuses. His daughter, Chrissy, despite help from her famous father, became the first casualty on "American Candidate." That's gotta hurt, even if next to no one saw it happen.

The "winner," to be determined on the 10-episode show's October finale, will receive $200,000 and a "chance to address the nation." Except that you might be able to fit "American Candidate's" nation into a small convenience store by then.

Hosted by syndicated talker Montel Williams, the show ostensibly wants to prove that anybody can "grow up to be president." Alas, most of the 10 chosen campaigners have professional political ties and highly telescoped interests.

Bruce Friedrich, for instance, is not exactly your basic man of the people. He's a director of PETA whose activities have included streaking at the site of a lunch for the Queen of England and the Bush family. Friedrich also spent 18 months in jail for protesting nuclear weaponry and placed fifth last year in Details magazine's list of "The 50 Most Influential People Under 38."

On "American Candidate," his campaign manager, Gayla, is a recipient of what she calls "gender-reassignment surgery."

At the other end of the spectrum is North Carolinian Park Gillespie, a devoutly conservative former Bob Jones University student who is married, with four children, and is adamantly against abortion. He also is a strong supporter of President Bush and the administration's war on terrorism.
 
Gillespie prevailed in the candidates' first task, to announce their presidential ambitions in front of the largest crowd possible. He assembled 407 people, making him the show's first "front-runner." Chrissy Gephardt, an openly gay activist, drew both her father and Rep. Patrick Kennedy, D-R.I., to her Washington, D.C., rally.

"Let me just tell you something," Dad said. "This Gephardt candidacy is going to do better than the last Gephardt candidacy."

But his daughter finished second-to-last with 147 people, forcing her into a debate with rock-bottom Jim Strock, a "senior analyst" for President Reagan's 1984 re-election campaign who later became California's first secretary for environmental protection.

Strock, who had only 50 people at his rally, debated Gephardt in a New Hampshire meeting room while the rest of the candidates weighed which one to support. A 4-4 deadlock ensued, with Gillespie then allowed to break the tie as the show's titular front-runner. He quickly evicted Gephardt, who said during the debate that she supports abortion at any time during pregnancy. All that remained was for host Williams to intone, "You're off the ballot."

Tonight's second pre-taped episode will find the remaining nine hopefuls speaking about the war on terrorism to a roomful of New Hampshire denizens. Real-life political consultants such as Joe Trippi, Ed Rollins and Rich Bond will be dropping in along the way to offer guidance.

What they can't provide is a viewing audience.