Portland, schmortland - we still say Seattle rocks

So Portland was touted last week by Slate.com as the "indie rock mecca."

Should Seattle be: a) offended; b) jealous; c) incredulous; or d) ironically detached?

My vote goes with d). First of all, it's rather dubious to be known as the home for something so vague — really the only way to define "indie rock" is by talking about what it's not ("Well, it's not hip-hop, it's not metal, it's not really folk or hard rock ... "). It also goes really well as the background for car commercials.

So go ahead, Portland, you be — as the story gushes — "America's indie rock theme park." Congrats, and I can't wait for the Tilt-a-Shins and Spoon-go-round rides. (The Shins' James Mercer and Spoon's Britt Daniel have moved to Oregon's biggest city.)

But a better overall music scene? I don't know about that.

Portland may be trendy, but they don't have Fremont's Oktoberfest, with its chain-saw pumpkin-carving contest and diverse lineup of Seattle bands, including heavy rockers Skullbot (3:45 p.m. Saturday), Thee Emergency (8:45 Saturday), hip-hop party band the Saturday Knights (10 p.m. Saturday) and the Nick Drake mood crafters Conrad Ford (12:45 p.m. Sunday). Admission is free, but the best viewing points are in the 21-and-older beer gardens, which cost $20 to enter; that includes a souvenir cup and four 5-ounce "tastes." For more details: www.fremontoktoberfest.com.

And what about Thee Emergency, a hyper garage-blues band that has been freaking out at Seattle clubs for the last three years — are they packing up to move to Portland?

"No way — all our friends are here, all our fans are here," sparky singer Zana "Dita Vox" Geddes shot back, as her crew set up to practice in a University District basement. Geddes and her band mates, Adm "Nick Detroit" Taylor, Matt "Sonic Smith" Bracher and Tom "T. Drummer" Meyers, have been living in this pad they call the Chuck Norris House for three leases now. They promise they're not fleeing south.

"We have musician friends in Portland, and they keep talking about how terrible it is there," Geddes said.

For this band, Detroit is mecca, not Portland. But then again, Thee Emergency isn't what you'd call an "indie rock" band. They're technically independent, as they're not on a label, but they don't have that introspective, muted "indie" sound.

During a smoky practice, the Joplin-esque notes of Geddes soar over the rough-and-tumble guitar and drums, as Thee Emergency tears through the speedy rocker "It's All in the Reflexes," the epic blues call-and-response "The Word" and a few other new songs. Thee Emergency has added a fifth member, Nathan "Dr. Sound" Schmeck, who adds nice keyboard and sax accents.

Portland can have its Dandy Warhols. I'll take the rowdy Emergency.

Unlike Modest Mouse's Isaac Brock and Death Cab for Cutie's Chris Walla, Minus the Bear has not followed the pavement to Portland, either. Seattle's MTB is on the bill on radio station KNDD's "Endfest," headlined by Smashing Pumpkins and Social Distortion. The music festival takes place at Qwest Field (noon Saturday, $39.50; read more about Endfest on Page 4).

Singer Jake Snider, guitarist Dave Knudson and the rest of Minus the Bear were one of 52 bands spotlighted by MTV, which has also been playing the music video for "Knights," from the new MTB album "Planet of Ice."

Nor does Portland have John Richards, the KEXP morning DJ with the self-deprecating humor and impeccable taste — keeps beating everyone to the best new local bands, this guy. Richards and KEXP have been cultivating ties with Portland, so how does he compare the two music scenes?

"Seattle has a big-city vibe and Portland a smaller-city vibe, which makes it seem like more of the indie capital than Seattle might be," Richards answered, via e-mail. "This might be true BUT in my opinion this is the best the Seattle music scene has ever been and the same could be said about Portland ... so hopefully the two can just get along ... "

Elsewhere in the (Seattle, not Portland) local-music scene this weekend:

• Garage-punkers Das Llamas, epic-rockers Joy Wants Eternity and a few other Seattle bands — plus England shoegazer James "Maps" Chapman — play a Richards-hosted KEXP benefit at the Crocodile (6 p.m. Saturday, $25).

• Viva Voce and Menomena, two of Portland's finest, make some nice sounds, no doubt about it. But given the choice, I'd stick with Seattle's Kinski, led by instrumental rock mastermind Chris Martin.

Kinski plays from "Down Below It's Chaos," its packed-with-brilliance new Sub Pop album, at the Crocodile (9 p.m. Thursday, $10).

By the way, does Portland have a Crocodile Café?

I didn't think so.

Tom Scanlon: tscanlon@seattletimes.com