Much ado about nothing, indeed. "Anonymous," Roland Emmerich's historical drama, presents the idea (which isn't new) that Shakespeare's plays were actually written by one Edward de Vere, the Earl of Oxford. The movie depicts the earl (blondly and blandly played by Rhys Ifans) as a close-to-the-vest sort of fellow who spends much of his time posing prettily in shadowy light, listening impassively to others' conversations, subtly rolling his eyes when his excitable wife shrieks in horror "You're writing again?" and frequently looking like he just smelled something infelicitous. Meanwhile, Shakespeare (Rafe Spall) staggers around seeming perpetually drunk, as if he's auditioning for some Elizabethan version of "Jersey Shore"; Queen Elizabeth (played, at different ages, by the mother-daughter team of Vanessa Redgrave and Joely Richardson) seems to have a few secrets; and everyone's hair looks spectacular.

In other words, "Anonymous" is pretty silly stuff, and those expecting this movie to seriously address matters of authorship will be sadly disappointed, not to mention confused. It's certainly enjoyable to look at, particularly Lisy Christl's costumes (one gown worn by Richardson, with an elaborate ruff, makes her look like an enchanted butterfly), and there are scenes at the Rose and Globe theaters where Emmerich captures a glimmer of the boisterous, thrilling immediacy of the plays in their early performances. But "Anonymous," filled with pumped-up melodrama and intrigue, never really engages us in the question of who wrote the plays. Instead, its main achievement is in reminding us, however ineptly, what a joy it is that someone wrote them.

Moira Macdonald: 206-464-2725 or mmacdonald@seattletimes.com