"The Foot Fist Way" | There's a dodo in the dojo

There is no wax-on, wax-off for Fred Simmons, no walking on rice paper.

He's no Mr. Miyagi or Master Po. As the doughy, chinless and mustached "Master Instructor" at the Concord Tae Kwon Do Studio, Simmons (Danny McBride) is a clueless, egomaniacal tyrant who swears at his students, isn't above beating up a younger one and drives a red Ferrari whose license reads "TKDKING."

As a husband, he jumps out with a knife to surprise his tanned, thick, slutty wife (Mary Jane Bostic), as if he's Cato and she's Inspector Clouseau — and yet he's still both at once.

And so, when she leaves him, Simmons — already the worst instructor in the world — begins to come unglued.

"The Foot Fist Way" is an ultra-low-budget comedy that works like a Zen koan, its strength also being its weakness: Fans of "Reno 911" will click with its deadpan humor that relies almost completely on the delusional idiocy of its hero — and martial artists' hilarious fixation with displaying their prowess by breaking flimsy pine boards. (Also, ugly tropical shirts tucked into jean shorts = comedy gold.) And it admirably never breaks character to make any of its characters at all likable or lighten up the rudeness. But it's also a one-note exercise that feels like a sketch drawn out too long that could have been thought through better. How many slow-motion scenes of morons who think they're cool can you watch before they stop being so funny — I mean lose impact?

If it seems like Master Simmons is an inbred cousin to a typical Will Ferrell character, that's no accident. This is the first release from Ferrell and Adam McKay's Gary Sanchez Productions.

Also driving the plot: Simmons' worship of martial-arts superstar Chuck "The Truck" Wallace (co-writer Ben Best), bearded and long-haired rock star of the fictional "Seven Rings of Pain" trilogy. When Simmons and some students trek to a martial-arts expo, he finds a hero with (sort of deadly) feet of clay, and a clash of (not really) titans becomes inevitable.

First-time director (and former Tae Kwon Do student) Jody Hill gets a lot of that kind of material right. The sad, cheap little demonstrations (with pine-board-breaking). Those creepy students who are just too into it.

But as respectable a start as this is, Hill's own path to mastery ain't complete. Some bits fall flat well before they're driven into the ground, such as when Simmons tries to seduce a new female student. Others are painfully telegraphed so that when the payoff arrives, you've anticipated the blow and have become inured to it ... grasshopper.

Still, as far as movies about struggling little martial-arts schools go, this would be perfect to put on a double bill with David Mamet's current "Redbelt."

Mark Rahner: 206-464-8259

or mrahner@seattletimes.com