Spurlock asks "Where in the World Is Osama bin Laden?"

Uh, Pakistan. Roll credits.

That's a reasonable answer to the title of documentarian Morgan Spurlock's "Where in the World Is Osama bin Laden?" And for all that he finds out on his trip through several Middle Eastern countries, his follow-up to Oscar-nominated "Super Size Me" might as well have been just that short.

Unless you're one of the few living humans unaware that: 1) We're all basically the same. 2) Many foreigners don't generally have a problem with Americans but do hate U.S. foreign policy. 3) A lot of them think the man behind Sept. 11 sucks, but some think he rules, dude. Oh, and 4) everyone likes Yankee wrestling.

No spoiler alert necessary. That's what regular-guy Spurlock finds when he sets out on a dumb mission to make the world safe for the baby his wife's about to push out into the terror-filled world. After some preparation that includes grenade-dodging and how to act when taken hostage, the droopy-mustached host takes off to unpleasant corners of Egypt, Saudi Arabia and Israel to ask people the titular question. A likable guy, Spurlock winds up rapping with plenty of locals in their homes. And it's all framed by an animated Spurlock-vs.-Osama video-game motif more idiotic than anything Robert Smigel would do as a "Saturday Night Live" spoof.

"Super Size Me" was an enjoyable and disturbing stunt doc that graphically illustrated the effects on Spurlock of the garbage people cram into themselves. But he's out of his depth here — and not funny — with a mission and a message too simplistic and superficial for anyone with even the dimmest awareness of current events.

But then again, the animated baseball cards with terrorist stats are a nice touch. And when presidential candidate John McCain repeatedly confuses Sunnis with Shias, maybe it's wrong to assume anything about what people know.

Mark Rahner: 206-464-8259 or mrahner@seattletimes.com