Love is still crux in Delpy's film after "Sunrise" and "Sunset"

WASHINGTON — It's hard to think Julie Delpy without thinking relationships.

"Before Sunrise," that 1995 talkathon through a single Vienna night co-starring Ethan Hawke, defined first-date romance for the cerebral Gen-X'er. Its 2004 sequel, "Before Sunset" (Delpy co-wrote), caught up with the will-they-or-won't-they couple nine years later in Paris as they waxed poetic on the meaning of love.

"2 Days in Paris," a romantic comedy that Delpy directed, wrote, produced, edited and composed music for, is "Sunrise"/"Sunset" redux — almost. This time Delpy, 37, is Marion, a Parisian turned New Yorker photographer on vacation with her live-in boyfriend, Jack (Adam Goldberg channeling Woody Allen). The bickering pair decide to stop for a weekend in Marion's hometown. Meeting the parents — and the ex-boyfriends — and general "are we even supposed to be together?" conversations ensue.

It's a gritty view of relationships. It's advanced Julie Delpy. It's decidedly un-Hollywood, and Delpy says it parallels her view of what it means to be with another person. "There's a point in every relationship where you have to deal with everyday life," she says in an interview. "You start to live with each other and then there are these little things about the way he folds his underwear."

If it looks natural, it should. Goldberg is Delpy's real-life ex — they dated in the late '90s. During filming, he says, he'd periodically suggest invoking their romantic history: "Hey, let's throw that up in there!" Though no specific brawls made the final cut, "we both have issues that, in exaggerated form, show up in the film," he says.

In "2 Days," Marion and Jack grapple with that grown-up lesson because that's what they are: grown-ups. "They're in their mid-to-late 30s," Delpy says. "It's time to commit. It's time to put those reasons for not making the commitment aside."

Hawke, e-mailing from Australia, where he's filming a movie, describes Julie-on-love this way: "Julie cares about relationships and values them. ... This makes her very empathetic and compassionate." He adds that she "has created a lot of drama in her life from which to learn and draw from." Hmm.

"I do find relationships to be a lot of work," Delpy says. In 2004 she swore to London's Sunday Mail that she would never live with someone "as it would drive me insane." In the same interview, she scoffed at the idea of children, claiming she could barely care for a cat.

But wait, she's recently moved in with her long-term boyfriend, a musician she's identified only as "Mark." Kids? She wants them, definitely.

What happened? For one, a chance meeting with a former beau. Instead of giving Delpy the what-ifs, the reunion helped her realize she'd made the guy into "a fantasy." "It's in our making to always be longing for something else. I'm trying to change my attitude. I'm not longing for anything other than the ability to live in the moment."

So anti-ethereal. Subscribing to a practical, this-love-stuff-is-hard view of romance requires giving up on the fairy tale. And we sort of wanted Delpy to have the fairy tale, to settle for nothing less than a brooding Ethan Hawke and for impromptu strolls through cobblestone cities. After all, this is the woman who in "Before Sunrise" mused, "If there's any kind of God, it would be in this little space in between us ... in the attempt of understanding someone. ... It's almost impossible to succeed, but who cares, really? The answer must be in the attempt."

When Hawke is asked to describe the best relationship advice that Delpy ever gave him, he writes in reply: "The idea of Julie as some kind of sage couples counselor is absolutely hysterical to me! She is deep and she is wise, but she is also (at times) completely NUTS!"

Does that bother Delpy? Hardly. She says:

"I know nothing. That's why I make these movies about relationships. I'm looking for answers, but I have none."