"Turistas": We're betting someone leaves his heart in Brazil

If Karl Malden were still doing his American Express commercials: "You're on vacation and your kidney is stolen. What will you do. What will you do?!"

That more or less sums up this passable, gory little exploitation shocker spun from the urban legend about tourists in foreign countries who become organ donors — as the Monty Python bit goes — while they're still using their organs.

You never see this on Rick Steves' travel shows. But after last year's sadistic hit "Hostel," you know it's a fatal mistake while vacationing overseas to be young and attractive, to get all liquored up and to hang out with hot members of the opposite sex.

Movie review

Showtimes and trailer

"Turistas," with Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Beau Garrett, Agles Steib, Miguel Lunardi. Directed by John Stockwell, from a screenplay by Michael Ross. 89 minutes. Rated R for strong graphic violence and disturbing content, sexuality, nudity, drug use and language. Several theaters.

This time, it's a handful of semi-nude young tourists in Brazil, including Melissa George (Agent Vaughn's double-agent wife from TV's "Alias") and Josh Duhamel (from the mediocre "Las Vegas" series). She's the only one on a careening tour bus who's fluent in the native Portuguese. He's a cautious big brother who advises his younger sister to drink Coke without bacteria-laden ice, and shrieks at a bus driver to slow down.

Coke: successful. Bus: not. After an almost-tense wreck at a cliff's edge, several of the passengers wander off and find a secluded beach bar where no one minds toplessness, the local girl you hook up with may be a pro and the employees slip Mickeys to out-of-towners who wind up with a vicious doctor (Miguel Lunardi) who says he's found a way for American tourists to "give back."

It's a chilling premise that the horror genre hasn't dipped into much (apart from 1993's not-bad but less-graphic "The Harvest," set in Mexico). To his credit, unremarkable director John Stockwell ("Into the Blue") avoids winks and gives exploitation fans some of what they pay for — including a surgery scene involving a semi-conscious victim that seems more like NC-17 material than R if you don't happen to work in a grocery-store meat department.

While comparisons to "Hostel" are inevitable — it appears to have spawned its own sub-genre — "Turistas" rarely achieves its level of sustained menace and discomfort. Without giving away too much, it's fair to say that some bad guys get dispatched way too handily. Likewise, much of what's entertaining in the movie has been done better elsewhere. A nicely executed chase through dark underwater caves, in which survival depends on slurping little trapped air pockets, evokes the superior claustrophobia of "Dead Calm" and this year's terrific British import, "The Descent." And the ordeal's coda, which should be one of "Texas Chainsaw"-level shell shock, just fizzles with a weak wisecrack.

It'll be interesting to see how "Turistas" goes over with foreign audiences. Annoyed by loud, dumb, drunken Yankee tourists, they might see the doctor as the hero.

Mark Rahner: 206-464-8259 or mrahner@seattletimes.com