"The Longest Yard," the 1974 Burt Reynolds film about a prison football team, has many fans. Now, with its latest remake, those fans are getting a sort of cinematic kick in the crotch from director Peter Segal and star/executive producer Adam Sandler, who've taken the movie, squeezed it through the Sandlerization process, and tossed the result on screen. It's indifferent, charisma-free filmmaking.

Reynolds in the '70s (he's also in the new movie, looking a tad weary) had a regular-guy spark; he wasn't really much of an actor, but he had a self-mocking, macho persona that appealed to moviegoers. (You'd want to have a beer with him, whereas you might not with, say, De Niro.) Though the original film feels dated — particularly an early scene where our hero violently gives his girlfriend a wallop — it's carried by Reynolds as Paul Crewe, a convict who rallies his prison football team in a game against the guards.

Movie review *

Showtimes and trailer

"The Longest Yard," with Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Burt Reynolds, Nelly, James Cromwell, William Fichtner. Directed by Peter Segal, from a screenplay by Sheldon Turner, based on the film written by Tracy Keenan Wynn. 114 minutes. Rated PG-13 for crude and sexual humor, violence, language and drug references. Several theaters.

Fast-forward 30 years, and enter deadpan Sandler, who's built a career on his own inexpressiveness. As Crewe, he gets bashed around a fair bit but never reacts; he's beyond the movie, seeming barely present. There's a moment where the movie's momentum depends on his performance, when he needs to look through a doorway and register that something deeply tragic and shocking has happened, and though the camera cuts away quickly, it's not quick enough — Sandler's idea of conveying shock and horror is to open his mouth in an O.

Segal, who's previously worked with Sandler on "Anger Management" and "50 First Dates," is at ease with the teenage-boy humor that's been added to the story, such as the excessive mocking of the transvestite cheerleaders. And one change from the original is indicative of their approach to the material: The prison warden's amorous secretary, played in the original by a cute young Bernadette Peters, is here portrayed by Cloris Leachman, on the idea that there's nothing scarier (and funnier) than a sexually charged older woman.

Teenage boys will likely enjoy all of this, regardless of what kind of message it all sends, as might football fans (watch for a handful of NFL players, including former Seahawk Brian Bosworth). For the rest of us — well, I can only speak for myself, but my mind kept wandering to various other topics. Such as, how many millions does Sandler get paid per squint? Why does nobody ever choose to remake lousy movies (say, "Alexander," remade as a musical)? Is there any food at home in the fridge? Is this movie over yet? Go at your own risk.

Moira Macdonald: 206-464-2725 or mmacdonald@seattletimes.com