The polls are closed. The ballots have been mailed. And even the-artist-formerly-known-as-Prince-and-now-known-as-Prince-again is planning to show up. (Hey, he's an Oscar winner, for "Purple Rain" in 1985.) As we count down the last couple of days before Academy Awards night, it's still anyone's guess who'll go home with the big prizes. But let's take a look at who the night's big winners might be, among the non-nominees:

Chris Rock: OK, so host Rock got a lot of people worked up when he commented, in an Entertainment Weekly interview, that straight black men don't watch the Oscars. On the "Tonight Show" earlier this week, he clarified to Jay Leno, "I said only gay people watch the Tonys," and then went on to say, "I really don't know any straight men who aren't in show business that have ever watched the Oscars." As controversies go, this is pretty lightweight stuff, but it's serving its purpose — creating an anticipatory buzz over what he might say on Oscar night. Hmm, think producer Gil Cates is rubbing his hands together in glee right now? Straight men who watch the Oscars, unite!

Beyoncé: The pop star and wannabe actress (she's appeared in "Austin Powers in Goldmember," "The Fighting Temptations" and the upcoming remake of "The Pink Panther") gets a big showcase Oscar night, as she'll perform three of the five nominated songs — solo for "Learn to Be Lonely" (from "The Phantom of the Opera"), with Josh Groban for "Believe" (from "The Polar Express") and with the American Boychoir for "Look to Your Path" (from "Les Choristes"). For fans of the singer, it's a bonanza; for everyone else — well, more opportunities to visit the refrigerator.

All presenters: Sean Penn, Cate Blanchett, Al Pacino, Kirsten Dunst, Robin Williams, Ziyi Zhang and Halle Berry, among many others, will all totter home with a lavish thank-you gift — the famous Oscar gift basket, crammed with merchandise designed to appeal to the rich-and-famous. Academy executive director Bruce Davis, in a recent Roger Ebert column, clarified that the baskets are only for presenters (not nominees, though some presenters are nominees), and that the academy spends no money on them, as all the gifts are donated. And he notes that "Every presenter on the Oscar show is working for free — not even for Guild minimum. They do it as a contribution to the academy and to their art form." Nice work, if you can get it.

The pinot noir industry: Thanks to "Sideways" and its five nominations, this once-misunderstood grape has become the glamour girl of the wine world — Natalie Portman in a bottle, we might say. Sales have soared with the film's success and may rise further if "Sideways" wins an Oscar or two. By comparison, the favored beverage of Howard Hughes in "The Aviator" — milk, in the bottle, with the cap on — is experiencing no renaissance whatsoever, perhaps because viewers remember what Hughes did with the bottles afterward.

Oscar trivia

Time to wrap up our Oscar trivia with the answer to last week's question. Should Don Cheadle and Sophie Okonedo win for playing a married couple in "Hotel Rwanda," they would become the first acting team to win for playing spouses since ... drum roll ... Henry Fonda and Katharine Hepburn, who won in 1981 for playing Norman and Ethel Thayer in "On Golden Pond." That particular win was historic both for Fonda, who became at 79 the oldest winner of the best-actor category, and for Hepburn, who won an unprecedented fourth acting Oscar.

'Til Sunday ...

Moira Macdonald: 206-464-2725 or mmacdonald@seattletimes.com