Some of you could not attend our Inside the Clubhouse night at Safeco Field. A handful of you refused to attend, saying you wouldn't be caught dead at such an event. An event where rational discourse, thought-provoking questions and intelligent exchanges ruled the night. Some of you don't like reporters, or think we talk too much. Or, you just don't like people with opinions that differ from yours. Maybe you just don't like reading this space. Well, we try to please everybody. And so, just for those of you we can never seem to please, boy, do we have a treat for you! In collaboration with the greater Seattle blogosphere, we've arranged to have a distinguished panel of bloggers come together as one to put the questions to yours truly.

We're calling it "Outside the Clubhouse" night, where those without access and a mountain-sized chip on their shoulders can meet under one roof and celebrate the fact that they are true experts on whatever they tell you. For just $20, we discounted regular $35 Mariners tickets. Here's the catch, though. We didn't let anyone into the game itself. Too much access. Clever, huh? OK, not really.

Here is a transcript of that live event.

MODERATOR: Greetings everyone. Derek Zumsteg here, formerly of USS Mariner, now newly-reinvigorated fiction writer and freelance show host ready to bring you tonight's special live event - Outside the Clubhouse. As the self-proclaimed, ultimate "outsider" my mission is to bring you all I can from the perspective of somebody who does not want to set foot in a clubhouse of any kind. With us is Geoff Baker, pseudo-intellectual, access-flaunting blogger from the Seattle Times, trying to justify his existence before a panel of our Baker-expert blog commentators from across the greater Seattle blogosphere.

From left to right, we have Brian L., noted fan commenter from Lookout Landing, Pedro Calderon from the Times Mariners Blog, Gary Lemons from the Times Chat Forum, Goose from USS Mariner and a long lineup of folks waiting at the microphone to get questions in.

Should be a fun evening, so let's get started. We also have a live feed going out on Justin TV and will be taking your questions via Twitter.

First off, Geoff, welcome.

ME: Glad to be here, Derek. Or, should I just call you DMZ?

DMZ: Surprised you're not on vacation.

ME: No, I got the night off for this. Have to fly out on a road trip in the morning.

DMZ: You're always somewhere other than with the team, aren't you?

ME: Well, as you've written, this 24/7 blogging, news-watch thing can be a source of long-term burnout if you're not careful.

DMZ: Speaking of my Bugs Bunny piece, there's something that bugs me about you. Not sure what, but it's been going on four years now. Let's get our panel to weigh in. How about you, Goose?

GOOSE: Baker is dead to me.

DMZ: Yes, but we need to know why.

GOOSE: He didn't vote for Edgar. He's dead to me.

DMZ: Yes, Geoff, about that Edgar Martinez non-vote for the Hall of Fame. How could you not vote for him and still expect us to take you seriously as a journalist?

ME: So, if I don't agree with Seattle fans on a topic, I'm just supposed to go with the flow?

DMZ: Exactly, everyone else in the country did.

ME: But Edgar only got 36.2 percent of the vote.

DMZ: No need to get defensive.

ME: I wasn't getting defensive.

DMZ: Or argumentative. What, you think having a press pass and getting into the clubhouse makes you better than all of us?

ME: No, I'm just trying to answer your...

PEDRO CALDERON: Like DMZ said, no need to get defensive, Geoff. In fact, why get defensive at all? That's just you sipping the Jack Z. Kool-Aid again. Everyone knows you need to be offensive to win. I explained it on my latest podcast. The one where I reveal how Yuniesky Jesus Alfonso Betancourt could win a Gold Glove every year if he wanted to, but knows he has to focus his energy on those wild and crazy swings of his that instill a certain fear factor in pitchers.

ME: OK, if we can get back on topic, I didn't vote for Edgar because I just don't believe his numbers were good enough when you look at the natural advantage he was given. And that if we're only going look at a guy who doesn't play the field, then we have to assume that the numbers put up by his peers would have also been higher had they not had to play the field as well.

BRIAN L.: You obviously put zero thought into this. Not that I'd know, because I never read your stuff. You're so irrelevant to me that I only mention you three dozen times a day now instead of my usual 65 times. But still, you clearly aren't taking this seriously. Because we all know 'Gar was a great DH.

ME: Yes, but that's not the point...

BRIAN L.: I'll decide what the point is, thank you. This isn't like your blog, where you control the debate and don't allow any dissent.

ME: But I listened to your dissent when you wrote on the blog for the entire 2007-2008 off-season, Brian. Even answered your emails and tried to help you out when you wrote to complain about the more disrespectful readers on our blog who would often disagree with you.

BRIAN L: Yes, but that still doesn't take away from the fact that 'Gar was an outstanding DH. They named the DH award after him! He's a great hitter.

ME: Yes, but the majority of teams in baseball don't use a DH.

BRIAN L.: Closers are in the Hall of Fame.

ME: Yes, but all 30 teams use relief pitchers.

GOOSE: You're dead to me, Geoff.

PEDRO CALDERON: Yuniesky Betancourt would be a great DH. His on-base percentage is right around .300. And who doesn't want a .300-hitter as their DH? But then, the team would lose his Gold Glove.

ME: Yeah, Pedro, that's sort of my point. Although, not with Yuni as an example.

PEDRO CALDERON: You hate Yuni. And Jose Lopez. And Felix Hernandez. And Luciano Pavarotti. It's because they're all Latin American, isn't it?

ME: Pavarotti was Italian. And he's dead.

GOOSE: You're dead to me, Geoff.

PEDRO CALDERON: Getting a little defensive, are we, Geoff?

ME: No. I'm just trying to say, the point about playing offense and defense. They're equally important. Edgar only really played the offensive side. I mean, look how long it took Andre Dawson to get into the Hall of Fame. He played on crippled knees for years and gave his teams pretty good defense on some of the worst playing surfaces known to mankind. Can you imagine how high his offensive totals would have been if he hadn't played through all the hurts that being in the field brings? That's why we'll never know how good Edgar really was in relation to his peers. Most of them didn't enjoy his DH advantage. In fact, 16 of the 30 teams weren't eligible to enjoy it.

BRIAN L.: You've clearly given this no thought. Is this a joke? Don't you know Edgar was a great DH?

GARY LEMONS: Geoff, you're a little long-winded with this answer. Just like your writing. No flow and style to it. You're like a poor man's Danielle Steele without all the good sex scenes. I mean, as a reporter, you're OK, I guess, but I still prefer Shannon Drayer and Ryan Divish. Heck, I even prefer the Associated Press briefs on your back pages. They give you the facts without all the spin. Especially on topics I disagree with.

ME: I'm sorry Gary, I'll stick to the facts. I don't think Edgar merits being in the hall.

BRIAN L.: A little overly simplistic, don't you think, Geoff?

DMZ: Yeah, Geoff. I mean, if you're just going to McNugget your way through an argument, what's the point of you having a job? I mean, you're no better than a simpleton blogger with a press pass. Besides, access corrupts.

ME: Corrupts how?

DMZ: You write what the team wants you to write. You're afraid to be too critical, feeling you'll lose your precious, itsy-bitsy little access the rest of us don't get. You've been muted, my friend. Neutered like a little doggie. You won't call Mike Sweeney a "Mascot" like some of us tough guys. You take the easy way out all the time. Say the things you think will make people happy.

ME: Like my Edgar Martinez position? You think that makes the Mariners and the people of Seattle happy?

GOOSE: You're dead to me, Geoff.

BRIAN L.: Yes, so dead. And irrelevant. I'd never dream of starting more than two...OK, make it three...comment threads per day about you anymore. And that's only because I'm on summer break now. If I had homework, two threads per day max.

DMZ: Alright, enough of Baker talking about himself again. Let's go to our first online question of the evening. This one comes from Tboneman in Arizona. What say you 'Mr. T.?' Or is it 'Mr. Bone'? Ha, ha.

TBONEMAN: I just want to say that I like Larry Stone's blog so much better than the Baker Blog. It's the place for us cool kids to hang out now.

ME: Well, I like Larry's blog, as well. In fact...

DMZ: I wholeheartedly agree with that assessment of USSM-endorsed Larry Stone. But I have to say, Tboneman, your rants kind of sound like the stuff of someone a little longer in the tooth than a "cool kid". Ha, ha.

TBONEMAN: Now, you listen up, sonny. I'm not going to put up with that. I've been waiting on my great grandson's computer for 15 minutes just to let the world know, and the extra-terrestrial world know, that I'm not paying any more attention to Baker's blog. Even that 13th paragraph of his third blog post of the day from 4 1/2 months ago where he wrote that the Mariners were going to put Cliff Lee on the DL. What kind of hooey is that?

DMZ: Well, um, they did put Lee on the DL.

BRIAN L.: How can you defend Geoff?

DMZ: I'm not! I mean, well, um, they did, in fact put Lee...

GOOSE: You're dead to me, Derek.

PEDRO CALDERON: If Yuniesky Alfonso Jesus Gomez Shakira Betancourt was a left handed pitcher, he wouldn't be on the DL. He'd be on the DH - for himself! Get it? He'd be such a good hitter as a pitcher that he'd be batting for himself!

GARY LEMONS: Huh?

BRIAN L.: Yeah, Pedro, that's just dumb.

PEDRO CALDERON: I'll have a podcast up explaining it in the next 30 minutes or so. Right after I publish a Milton Bradley photo that's going to prove once and for all that Baker and the Lackey-Slave Times are in cahoots with Z-Man and the fascist Lincoln-Armstrong junta to do us all evil.

TBONEMAN: Hey, what about me? I'm still here, waiting patiently online. Don't have forever you know...getting on some in years. I want to ask my question!

ME: Ask away.

TBONEMAN: How can you be so obviously stupid as to not vote for 'Gar? And be born in Canada, eh? Ha, ha, ha. That last bit was an example of how I can be funny as well as deranged.

ME: Well, I...

TBONEMAN: God, you are so long-winded. Can't you just explain yourself quickly, so I don't have to stay up past 7 p.m. trying to wind through an answer that could be explained in one word or less?

ME: Uh...

BRIAN L.: That's so simplistic, Geoff. Just as I said, you've put no thought into this.

DMZ: And he was wrong about the Erik Bedard trade. Let's not forget that!

GOOSE: Yes, so wrong! Even though he's dead to me, I know just how wrong he was and how wrong he refuses to admit he is. Not sure how I know that, because he's dead to me. Maybe I can see dead people like that kid from that that Seventh Heaven movie.

GARY LEMONS: I think you mean The Sixth Sense.

BRIAN L.: What are you guys even talking about? The only movie I'm old enough to remember is Rocky VI.

GOOSE: You're dead to me, Gary.

PEDRO CALDERON: You see Geoff. That's what you get for buying into all that sabermetrics junk. Erik Bedard might look good to the numbers set, but any real baseball guy knows he's overrated.

BRIAN L.: Yeah, and had you bothered to check the numbers, Geoff, you'd have seen that the combined WAR and park-adjusted VORP of the five guys they traded away wasn't worth two seasons of Bedard, even at a CYBORG+ to the cogent of a park-factored xFIP.

TBONEMAN: Hey! Let's you younguns' just try to stick to a topic! I'm still here, remember? Look at me! But you're right, Baker was wrong about the Bedard trade!

BRIAN L.: Yes, just the other day he wrote about how this franchise wasn't decimated by that deal. About how we actually have a good centerfielder now and that our long-term suffering really didn't extend past 2008. The nerve! Doesn't he know he was wrong? It doesn't matter how good things are now. He was wrong about the trade!

DMZ: Oh yes, so wrong! In fact, nothing else matters now. Who cares what Baker says anymore? If he was wrong about the trade, he's wrong about everything! I've been trying to point that out for years. We don't need reporters, or newspapers. Without them, you could just come and read my posts. Maybe only once every three days instead of before, because I'd be a bit short on content, but at least you wouldn't have some mindless drivel created by somebody with actual access.

GARY LEMONS: Yeah, it's not like Baker's a good analyst or anything. Heck, as an analyst, he's kind of like James Patterson without all the good sex scenes.

DMZ: As a reporter, he's OK, but as an analyst? Oh man, is he bad. And in case anyone starts to think otherwise, I've been sure to repeat that mantra in two out of every three USS Mariner posts I've written the past two years. Baker is not a good analyst. He disagrees with me too much. And I've never been in the clubhouse or around the team, so of course my vision has not been clouded by "access" and I know what's going on better than anyone, including the players, coaches, media, and GM. And in case Baker ever gets something right, I'll just substitute his name for "mainstream media" and write about how they got it wrong! Unlike some of us. We never get anything wrong. At least, anything I'll ever remind you of...

PEDRO CALDERON: You were wrong about Yuniesky Betancourt.

DMZ: You're either with us, or against us, Pedro. You some Axis of Evil guy?

GB: If I can just interject, that blog post from the other day wasn't about trying to justify the Bedard trade. I think I wrote that the good stuff that's happened since had little to do with Bill Bavasi's acumen and was more just dumb luck. I was trying to say that even the worst things sometimes have a way of working out. And that the reaction to Adam Jones leaving was a bit of an overreaction. I mean, Jones is a decent player. But they've already found a better guy. The Mariners shook the whole Jones loss off pretty quickly.

BRIAN L: Stop being so defensive. You were wrong! I predicted it would be a catastrophe and that the fires of hell would shower the Mariners like a napalm monsoon. And that's the way it's going to stay, no matter how much you refuse to say that you were wrong!

ME: OK, I was wrong.

BRIAN L.: Now, you're just being argumentative.

GARY LEMONS: And you're doing it in such a boring way, Geoff. How about some passion? Do you even like baseball? What's with this "I was wrong" stuff? Can't you be a little more detailed than that? Are you supposed to be a writer? Where's the prose? You're like John Grisham without all the scenes of drunken lawyers jumping on the backs of baby sheep.

DMZ: Huh?

ME: Well, I disagree about that...

Brian L.: Stop being so condescending, Geoff! I'm feeling insulted. Geez, you are so thin-skinned. I'm going to tell DMZ and have him write a whole week's worth of posts about it.

DMZ: Yeah, I might just do that if you keep disagreeing with us, Geoff. You've got to stop talking down to us. This is getting us nowhere. Just keep quiet until we tell you what you should say. Because we know best. And you don't have any studies to prove us wrong on that, so there. Let's take a question from the audience. You there! Standing by the microphone. What's your name?

PABLO FANQUE: Uh yes, hello. My name is Pablo Fanque, and I'm the only living Real Madrid fan to hail from Liverpool, England.

PEDRO CALDERON: Felicidad, amigo! What's your question?

PABLO FANQUE: Uh, well, I don't really have a question, or anything intelligent to add to this discussion. All I wanted to say was "Zero Replies!"

PEDRO CALDERON: Que?

PABLO FANQUE: Zero replies. That's my thing. I come on the Mariners Blog and go "Zero replies!" first thing every morning and last thing at night when everyone else is out on a date, or heading off to work, or something.

PEDRO CALDERON: That's pretty idiotic. Can I interview you for my next podcast?

ME: Uh, if you folks don't need me anymore I could just leave you by yourselves to keep the debate going?

BRAIN L.: Yes, please do. You were wrong about Bedard in 2008. Nothing you say now in 2010, whether right, wrong, or funny, even matters. You were wrong. I was right! We were right! We have to be miserable about 2008 for all eternity. In fact, no matter what happens the rest of our lives, we can't ever forget about 2008.

GOOSE: Yes, for all eternity, Geoff. You're dead to me, and will be for all eternity.

BRIAN L.: Let's face it Geoff, this is all about blog hits, isn't it? These long-winded, self-agrandizing posts trying to justify the Bedard trade? You just want readers to read what you post, don't you?

ME: Well, yes, I do.

BRIAN L.: I said, don't you?

ME: Yes, I do. We are a business and the more people who find us interesting enough to read, the better off we'll be in the long run. Been that way since the printing press was invented.

DMZ: Ah, ha! So, you deliberately try to provoke thought and discussion instead of just churning out a few random paragraphs?

ME: Well, yeah. Actually, if I did just a few graphs several times per day, our studies show we'd get more hits. But I try to mix some longer posts in with short ones to keep everyone happy. It's not all about hits. We try for quality. Stuff longer than you'd get in the average Twitter post. It does cost us readers, though, because some folks just don't have the patience to read and think beyond 145 characters. And it's exhausting to write, so I can't do it every day. An extra 2,000 words on top of your regular newspaper responsibilities starts to take a toll. We won't even get into the video...

GOOSE: No we won't, because you're dead to me. I didn't even watch your Geoff Baker Live! from three weeks ago. It's last night's version that has me angry...oops...

ME: Sorry, I think I'll go now.

DMZ: Oh yeah, sure. Start the fire and then watch us burn. Love us and leave us, huh, Geoff? Bet you think you'll get another 15,000 hits off this stupid post?

ME: No. I'd say 25,000.

DMZ: OK, take care.