Keeping your online dating business private

Q: I just broke up with my boyfriend and I am interested in trying to find someone online. I am a little embarrassed — how can I keep this from my friends and family?

— L.P., Chicago

A: Online dating is popular, with millions of Americans visiting dating sites every month in search of love and companionship.

Despite its popularity, online dating can have dangers, such as misrepresentation of identity, threats to personal security and invasion of privacy and identity theft.

To protect your privacy, keep in mind these tips:

• Don't use your real name or other personal information in your posting. Select a username, which is a word or phrase that may describe your personality or what you're looking for in a match. Your username should not correspond in any way to your e-mail address.

• Guard your anonymity. Make sure the dating site uses a double-blind e-mail system to protect your privacy. This allows you to remain anonymous — even after making contact — until you decide you've met someone you consider a match.

• Be cautious about revealing personal information until you know, or are comfortable with, the person you are e-mailing.

• Understand how the site operates. Get a feel for how much of your information is stored and how it is tracked. For example, on some sites, subscribers can see the names of other subscribers who have read their profiles. Make sure to use blocking options that allow you to prevent a member's profile from appearing in your search and match results.

• When you are ready to communicate outside the security of the dating service, don't give out your work or home number, both of which can be placed in a reverse directory. That could reveal your home address. Use your cellphone to make the call or sign up with your home phone company for blocking beforehand so your number won't appear.

Eric Gertler, United Feature Syndicate. Have a question? Send it to heretohelp@seattletimes.com, or call 206-464-2525