Big shoulders to lean on

Its volunteers simply offer time, week after week, month after month. Some, like Big Brother Tom Lorusso and Big Sister Jessica Van Deusen have been mentoring the same young people for years — watching movies together, offering advice, above all giving their Little Brothers and Sisters time in which a consistent, caring adult is focused on them and totally on them.

That is precious help to a single mother such as Julia Mangaliag, who works overnight as a caregiver for elderly people and then heads to a second job in the cafeteria of Seattle's Bishop Blanchet High School.

Lorusso, 32, has been matched with Mangaliag's son Victor Quezada, 14, for four years.

"When Tom comes during the weekend, I can sleep. That gives me a break. He's a big help to a single mom," Mangaliag said.

From his perspective, Lorusso is the lucky one.

"It doesn't even seem like volunteer work or charity now," Lorusso said of his relationship with Quezada. "He feels like another friend."

Getting together with Quezada to shoot hoops, play video games, or just talk about "guy stuff" makes Lorusso, a Microsoft researcher, feel fortunate for all he has. It also makes his own stress about work or household chores seem almost trivial, he said.

"It's very grounding. For me, gas prices are like a theoretical problem; they're annoying. For Victor's mom it's a real problem; she's got to decide if they're going out of the house today." (Between her overnight job and her cafeteria work, which starts at 11 a.m., Mangaliag said she'll often sleep in her car for a few hours at Bishop Blanchet to save the gas and time it would take her to go the Lynnwood apartment she shares with Quezada and his sister.)

Quezada receives practical benefits as well when Lorusso helps him with homework and computer problems.

"Talking to him is like practicing talking to other adults, like teachers," Quezada said.

Lorusso has opened Quezada's eyes to new career possibilities. Lorusso took Quezada, a video-game fanatic, to see Microsoft's games lab. Quezada now envisions becoming an engineer or game designer.

"He's so proud of Tom," Mangaliag said. "He keeps asking him if he can work at Microsoft now."

Seven years

Jessica Van Deusen and Liz Penney tell a similar story.

They've been matched for almost seven years. They've run races together, hiked around parks and strolled through malls. Little Sister Penney was even a bridesmaid in Big Sister Van Deusen's wedding.

Penney says Van Deusen, 30, has improved her outlook. "I used to be really negative. Hanging out with Jessica has helped me think more things are possible. She helped me shine a light on new opportunities," said Penney, 16, a junior at Kenmore's Inglemoor High School.

Penney said her goals now are to go to college and become a pharmacist, personal trainer or physical therapist.

The kind of attention a young person gets from an adult mentor is very different from a parent's or a teacher's, said Patrick D'Amelio, CEO of Big Brothers Big Sisters of Puget Sound. "It's a sort of safe sounding-board, a way to interact with an adult that gives them an outlet they might not have."

Even in the best of parent-child relationships, mom or dad isn't always the person that kids want to confide in. "It's easier to say to a mentor that you're doing poorly in math class," D'Amelio explained.

The good news, according to D'Amelio, is that his agency isn't lacking adult volunteers or youngsters seeking mentors. It has a waiting list for both, itching to join its 2,200 active matches.

The bad news, though, is that Big Brothers Big Sisters of Puget Sound needs money to hire professional staff to maintain and support matches.

The agency — one of 13 that benefit from The Seattle Times Fund For The Needy — relies almost entirely on donations and grants. (According to its 2008 annual report, the agency spent 79 percent of its $3.9 million budget on direct services; 15 percent went to fundraising and 6 percent to administration.)

Big Brothers Big Sisters of Puget Sound maintains strict oversight standards, D'Amelio said. Adults are screened and undergo rigorous background checks. Mentors are interviewed, tested and carefully matched with young people to attain the most productive and lasting relationship. Mentors are trained and advised on a continuing basis; case managers regularly check in with parents and guardians.

"They don't just match you up and leave to go your own way. They follow up every three months to find out how Victor and Tom are doing," Mangaliag said.

Some agency case managers have up to 130 matches to monitor, D'Amelio said. "Right now we're working at the max. In order to make more matches, we need to hire more support," he said.

And in bad economic times it's particularly important that the agency make more matches.

"Many of our families are experiencing increased stress because of the economic situation," D'Amelio said. "That's putting pressure on kids. And that's when an outlet like Big Brothers Big Sisters is especially valuable."

Bob Young: 206-464-2174 or byoung@seattletimes.com