Relative of slain Carnation family talks about the aftermath

Ben Anderson says the anti-anxiety drugs doled out by the King County Jail do nothing for the constant nightmares.

He closes his eyes and imagines the screams and gunfire that ended the lives of his grandparents and four other relatives nearly a year ago and cast his mother into an unimaginable hell.

But her anguish has been made worse by Anderson's personal predicament. As his mother struggles to deal with the deaths of her parents, brother, sister-in-law and young niece and nephew, Anderson can't be there to support her because he is in jail awaiting a prison term on identity-theft charges.

"I cry every night," said Anderson, 24, speaking from behind a glass window in a visitation booth at the King County Jail. "I feel like my mom is going insane. We both are."

Anderson was convicted earlier this year of three counts of identity theft and sentenced to about 3 ½ years in prison. He is still awaiting trial on charges of unlawful issuance of a check, theft and criminal impersonation.

Anderson said that he hopes to stay in King County Jail through the end of the year so he can be closer to his mother, Mary Victoria Anderson, as she copes with the aftermath of one of the state's worst mass slayings.

His mother's parents, Wayne and Judy Anderson; her brother Scott Anderson and his wife, Erica Anderson; and the couple's children, 5-year-old Olivia and 3-year-old Nathan, were killed on Christmas Eve in the elder Andersons' Carnation home. Charged in the slayings are his mother's sister, Michele Anderson, 30, and her former boyfriend, Joseph McEnroe, 30.

For any family, the killings would be devastating, but Mary Victoria Anderson has faced much of it alone while her eldest son faced his own prosecution. And she's doing it while raising Ben Anderson's two stepbrothers, ages 9 and 3.

Mary Victoria Anderson declined to comment for this story.

"She's been very closed up. She was very close to her mom and her dad," Ben Anderson said. "She and my grandma would spend 20 minutes trying to get off the phone with each other, saying 'I love you' and arguing who would hang up first."

Anderson said his mother has struggled to work up the energy to go outside. Her once-daily phone calls to the jail have tapered off to only a few each month, he said.

Anderson blames himself for his relatives' deaths. He said that he had planned to spend Christmas Eve with his family, but because his mother was sick they didn't go to his grandparents' home in Carnation.

"I wish I was there. Something would have been different," he said softly. Anderson is confident he could have fought off his family's killers.

Anderson also blames himself for his mother's depression. He believes if he were out of jail, he could be there to comfort her in person, instead of crying with her on the phone. He said that his own father died more than a decade ago.

Anderson was working at a Bellevue mortgage company on Dec. 26 when he received a phone call from his mother's then-fiance telling him about the slayings. Anderson said he had tried to call his grandparents on Christmas Eve to tell them he wasn't going to make it over, but nobody answered the phone.

Anderson said that Michele Anderson, his aunt, had told him before the slayings that she wanted her father dead. As he reminisces about growing up with Michele, who at just six years his senior was more of a "good friend," Anderson's voice grows quiet and his eyes well with tears.

"She was real smart, but she and my grandpa just didn't get along," Anderson said about his aunt, who is facing the death penalty for her role in the slayings. "Michele was really, really depressed."

He was convicted earlier this year of identity theft after his ex-wife and girlfriend said that he had stolen their identities, crimes that occurred before his relatives were slain. The charges for which he is awaiting trial were filed after the slayings.

Anderson blames his crimes on "greed" and a desire to get rich quickly. When he was questioned by police in May for opening three credit cards in his ex-girlfriend's name, he said he was motivated by anger, a police report said. Anderson was reportedly upset at her for backing out on a home loan that he secured for her.

"I'm very remorseful for what I did wrong. I don't think I'll ever even speed over five miles [per hour] again. I just don't want to be in the [criminal justice] system again," Anderson said.

Upon Anderson's arrest in July, King County Senior Deputy Prosecutor Melinda Young wrote that he "needs to be incarcerated to protect the community from [his] ongoing crime spree."

Anderson said he is coping with his grief by writing a faith-based book about how to heal after a relative is slain. Anderson describes the book as his way to show others how he is "living life as fully as I can.

"It feels like a movie; it's one person [killed] after another. It's hard to believe and cope with the loss," Anderson said.

While much of the book offers tips on how to handle grief, Anderson said he also writes about his aunt Michele, and her relationship with her father.

"I wish I could have been more there for my family. I took life for granted," he said. "I miss them all like crazy, but I miss my grandma. She would just light up a room."

Jennifer Sullivan: 206-464-8294 or jensullivan@seattletimes.com