Wedding expo tailored to same-sex couples

The word for it is lucky. That's how 24-year-old Rosemary Tran felt, wandering around this brand-new wedding world, with event planners and tuxedo rentals and freeze-dried flowers on display.

All those vendors coming together to sell their wares to the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community. Right there, at the Seattle Marriott Waterfront. What a wonder, she said, that this kind of thing even exists.

"That it doesn't have to be hidden," she said.

Something new came to town on Sunday for the couple planning a commitment ceremony: a same-sex wedding trade show. The event drew dozens of LGBT couples into a shopping experience commonly designed for the man-woman marriage. It was a first for RainbowWeddingNetwork.com, which has organized wedding expos in other cities, from Boston to San Francisco, for several years.

The landscape of services was similar to other wedding trade shows, with florists and travel experts and credit unions and stationers. But the mood was decidedly more open, with women requesting information on tuxedos, and men asking detailed questions about dinnerware.

"It feels like history being made," said Chad Schafer, 26, a salesman with The Tux Shop.

Schafer made a different kind of history in 2004, when he and his partner were among the thousands of same-sex couples to legally marry in Portland before a ban took effect. In the end, Schafer said, he got a refund check for $60, along with a paragraph-long apology.

"It was crushing," he said.

He had married Matt Huber, 24, a man he met doing charity work, a man who knew him well enough to finish his sentences.

"Like getting so far, and taking a giant step back," said Huber.

Washington state does not legally recognize same-sex marriages, but the couples at Sunday's trade show said they could not, would not wait for the state's seal of approval. Pat and Helena Nagle, of Olympia Floral Preservation, couldn't think of one reason they should.

Pat Nagle, 65, of Olympia, looked at one of his wife's creations, a framed piece with freeze-dried flowers and a photograph inside: two men in tuxedos, with twin turquoise vests, cutting a wedding cake together.

"Those guys aren't any less in love than we are," said Nagle.

Back in 2000, when the founders of RainbowWeddingNetwork.com handed out fliers at LGBT festivals, couples laughed at the idea. It seemed so out of reach. Even now, Massachusetts is the only state to allow gays and lesbians to marry. But other states, including Washington, have fought over the issue in court, bringing it more into the mainstream.

Now the company's expos attract an average of 200 people, officials said. Among those at the Seattle event were Michael and Louis, who declined to give their last names because Michael is in the military, which has a "don't ask, don't tell" policy.

Complete opposites, they said of each other -- a soldier with a love of order, an artist with a love of the mess. They described Sunday's event as the kickoff to the wedding-planning process, which looked, from the outside, like a long row to hoe.

Late in the afternoon, Louis was absorbed in one event planner's booth, pulled in by a photograph of a candlelit room. He wanted to hire that planner right away and give some bold, simple direction.

"Just replicate that," he said.

But Michael was busy at another booth, across the room, digging into the details.

At the end of the day, when all the wandering was done, they would move on, in time-honored fashion, to the next step: negotiation.

Cara Solomon: 206-464-2024 or csolomon@seattletimes.com