Couple remarry after 37 years apart

CORVALLIS. Ore. — At age 75, Virgil and Mary Basham giggle and tease like newlyweds, which they are. Last month, they exchanged vows at their daughter Donna Keim's Corvallis home — their second vows in 57 years.

For the past 37 years, Virgil and Mary were divorced and barely spoke.

It all started in the seventh grade in Henryville, Ind. Both were class leaders and competitive.

"I kinda liked her," Virgil said. "I dunno; I thought she was pretty nice."

They began dating in high school. They married the November after they graduated.

After they had four children, Virgil decided to try his luck on the West Coast, so the family moved to Whittier, Calif.

It took them far from family and friends. In California, they had their fifth child. Mary worked in a plastics plant, and Virgil worked in accounting.

Disagreements arose, focused on how they were raising the family. Virgil was a disciplinarian, Mary, less so.

"We had some differences," Mary said. One day, they both agreed that they'd had enough.

"We were so busy making ends meet that we didn't talk about things," Mary said.

They divorced, and Mary got child custody. Virgil visited on weekends.

Mary met Alvin Basham, unrelated to Virgil, though friends joked she'd married him to avoid changing her last name. Virgil remarried, and then divorced. He moved to Kentucky and kept in touch with his kids by phone.

After Alvin died three years ago, Mary moved into her daughter's home in Corvallis and Virgil decided it was time to connect with his grandkids.

He began visiting the Pacific Northwest in the spring, when Mary was out of town. But when Donna called him in August he told his daughter that he wanted to return to Oregon, to see its autumn colors, but said he wasn't sure how her mother would feel about it.

"I just handed her the phone," Donna said.

It was awkward at first.

An hour later, they still were talking. Later, Donna noticed that her mom went off by herself every evening to make private phone calls. Finally, Donna asked who was on the line.

"Your father," she replied.

In October, Virgil flew in to Portland, and Mary drove him down to Corvallis.

"We just started talking and driving around a lot," Mary said. They took trips to the coast and to California.

"We just decided we should be together again," Mary said.

They weren't sure how to tell their children and worried about the response, but other than some eye-rolling from the grandkids, they said, everyone was enthusiastic.

So on Nov. 18, exactly 57 years after their first marriage and five weeks after reuniting, Mary and Virgil walked down the aisle again.

Each was able to put a finger on what had been missed most for all these years.

"His fun-loving way of doing everything and teasing all the time," Mary said.

Virgil nodded. "And she puts up with it."