Gay youth invited to first 'Pink Prom' in Snohomish County

By Rachel Tuinstra
Times Snohomish County bureau

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EVERETT — Ashley Livingston doesn't want to be different, she doesn't want to be judged, she just wants to put on a formal dress and go to the prom with her date.

But her date happens to be another girl.

The 17-year-old knows that going to the prom with a same-sex date would raise a few eyebrows among her classmates at Mariner High School in South Everett.

This year, she has an alternative.

Livingston is among a group of teens and adults who are helping coordinate Snohomish County's first gay youth dance, called a "Pink Prom."

Pink Prom The Pink Prom will be from 8 p.m. to midnight today in the Parks Student Union at Everett Community College, 2000 Tower St. Admission is $15 per person, for people ages 14 to 20.

"This is my prom — I want to feel comfortable being me," Livingston said. "That means being there with my friends, and being able to dance. And if I dance with a girl, it's not like, 'Oh my gosh!' Everyone is chill. People are accepting and relaxed."

The Pink Prom is open to teens and adults ages 14 to 20, and will be today at Everett Community College. The dance isn't limited to a specific school district or county; organizers say they know of teens who are traveling from Skagit and Pierce counties to attend.

Event organizers say the Pink Prom will provide a venue where gay youth and their friends can enjoy a traditional prom night without feeling pressured to bring a "traditional" — i.e., opposite sex — prom date.

Pink Proms aren't new — gay youth organizations throughout the country hold similar events each year — but activists say this is an important first for Snohomish County, an area not always seen as gay-friendly.

"The face of Snohomish County is changing," said Maria Burgess, an AmeriCorps member who works with youth at the South Everett Neighborhood Center. She is one of the adult coordinators of the Pink Prom.

Burgess, who grew up in Everett and is gay, said she couldn't have fathomed an option like Pink Prom when she was a teenager. At that time, gay epithets were still shouted freely through the high-school halls and teachers did little to reprimand gay-bashing.

"A Pink Prom wouldn't have been able to happen here 10 years ago," she said. "This kind of thing is happening thanks to every person who puts a rainbow sticker on their car, or gets involved in activism. But in the back of your mind, you still worry: Is someone going to yell at me? Or worse? Any kind of intolerance has the potential to breed violence."

That fear of intolerance will also dictate a strong security presence at the prom, Burgess said. Pink Prom coordinators have hired two off-duty police officers to help supervise the event, she said.

Burgess said that while she is open about being gay, she sometimes feels uneasy about holding hands or displaying affection with a partner when in Snohomish County.

"And then I'll see a teenager who's wearing a T-shirt on the street that says, 'I kiss boys,' and he's a boy," she said.

She feels herself getting anxious for the teens who take steps to come out, but she's also impressed with their boldness to stand up for who they are, she said.

Gay activists see this event as a sign that tolerance and acceptance are seeping into areas outside of Seattle.

"The fact that they are holding a Pink Prom in a community like Everett is a sign that the youth are creating a space where they can be safe," said Ken Shulman, executive director of Lambert House in Seattle, the largest gay-youth organization in the Northwest. "The youth who are pushing to hold a gay prom, they are world-changers — not because they mean to be, but that's the impact they have. They are leaders, if only by default."

Lambert House will hold a Pink Prom from 7 to 11 p.m. May 15 at the All Pilgrims Christian Church, 500 Broadway E. in Seattle.

The Everett organizers say they modeled the Pink Prom after a typical high-school prom. Those attending the dance in Everett will have a chance to vote on a Pink Prom king and queen, although the nominations will be dress-specific, not gender-specific.

"So a person in drag, or a true female, could be prom queen," said Jason Ballard, a Pink Prom coordinator. Ballard, who dresses in drag and performs a lip-sync show under the stage name Rusty Waters — will host the prom event.

"This is something I've been wanting to see done in this city for a long time now," Ballard said. "Image is everything when you are in high school, so bringing a same-sex date to a dance is really an option — or at least a safe option."

It's an option that Grant Fagot (pronounced "fah-go") and about 10 of his friends from Sedro-Woolley are happy about, Fagot said.

"Seattle is the gay mecca for our area. If you want to go meet other gay people and hang out in a gay area, that would be Seattle. That was it," said Fagot, 20. "Now this (Pink Prom) is happening in our area; it's spreading further. Seattle will still be the epicenter for gay activism. But maybe Everett will be a ripple."

Rachel Tuinstra: 425-783-0674 or rtuinstra@seattletimes.com

Copyright © 2004 The Seattle Times Company

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