Warning signs of troubled teens

By Nguyen Huy Vu
Seattle Times staff reporter

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As families in Clallam County struggle to understand why a 13-year-old boy would shoot himself in front of classmates, local suicide-prevention agencies said having frank discussions with troubled teens is the best way to avoid a similar situation.

"A person can be so depressed or anxious and might not able to communicate the severity of what they are feeling, so people around them are not aware of what's going on," said Kathleen Southwick, executive director of the Crisis Clinic of Seattle/King County.

How to help The Crisis Clinic of Seattle/King County offers parents the following suggestions: • Answer questions simply and honestly. • Give responsible reassurances. • Do not make promises you can't keep. • Provide physical comfort. • Help your child identify, name and express feelings. • Encourage the grief process for any loss, including loss of a pet or a change in residence. • Encourage physical play. • Reduce exposure to media showing re-enactment of traumatic events. • Encourage drawing. Often children cannot put words to their feelings but can draw a representation of them. • Pay special attention to teenagers; they may not show their need. Call the Crisis Line at 206-461-3222 or 866-427-4747. For more information about the Crisis Clinic, visit www.crisisclinic.org.

"Parents need to be very straight communicators. They need to ask, 'Are you thinking of killing yourself?' which is the last thing a parent wants to say."

Statewide, 94 youths killed themselves in 2002, the most recent statistics available, Southwick said. The number of teens per capita who committed suicide in the past 100 years has not changed dramatically, she said, but the reasons have:

"I think there is more pressure on teens today around schools and grades and drugs and alcohol and peer pressure. Gay, lesbian and bisexual youth are 4-1/2 times more likely to be at risk."

Local teen counselors said there are myriad warning signs adults need to watch for, including teens drastically losing weight, cutting or burning themselves and withdrawing from friends or family.

"One of the things is just to know there is a change in a teen's behavior," Southwick said. "A big sign is if they are giving away prized possessions and are asking people, 'If something should happen to me, so-and-so can have my CD collection.' That's where a parent or friend needs to be very concerned."

Seattle psychologist Ben Low said there are also more subtle signs of a suicidal teen.

Clues can include someone who looks despondent beyond encouragement or who says things would be better if he'd never been born. "A kid might refer to a song lyric or movie about suicide solving a problem."

Southwick said there are several services in King County, such as her clinic, for parents and friends to ask questions about their loved one's risk of suicide.

"Call and tell us what you're seeing with your youth, and we can help you determine if it is typical teenage behavior or if it is serious," she said. "There are plenty of options out there. Don't try to deal with it yourself. No one has to go through this alone."

Seattle Times staff reporter Tina Potterf contributed to this story. Nguyen Huy Vu: 206-464-3292 or vnguyen2@seattletimes.com

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