Childhaven helps infant's father learn how to become a parent

Barry Jackson wasn't even aware that his former girlfriend was pregnant until he got a call from the hospital last December informing him his daughter had been born.

Due to her mother's addiction to methadone, Mariah spent the first month of life detoxing at a hospital.

Jackson, who had been clean and sober for about two months when Mariah was born, said he knew when he first held his baby girl that caring for her was the most important thing he would ever do.

"I promised her I was going to be the dad she needed," said Jackson, 40, of Seattle.

But after a lifetime of not taking care of himself, Jackson needed help learning how to be the parent he wanted to be.

That's where Childhaven came in.

Children who attend one of Childhaven's four locations in King County are taught, counseled and cared for by staff members and volunteers, many of whom become like members of the children's own family.

Through specialized and therapeutic child care, as well as art, music, physical and occupational therapy, the agency seeks to end the cycle of abuse by providing a place for children to heal while their parents learn to parent. It also offers parent-education classes for people such as Jackson, who found himself in need of guidance.

The nonprofit agency — which serves children who have an open case with Child Protective Services and educates their parents and caregivers — is one of 13 organizations that benefit from The Seattle Times' Fund For The Needy campaign.

Childhaven's parent-education program includes a 16-session class that's tailored to the family's specific needs and an at-home course in which a Childhaven educator videotapes the interaction between caregiver and child and then replays it, asking questions, pointing out what works and explaining the social and emotional needs that drive a child's behavior.

"I don't know what I would have done without Childhaven," said Jackson. "I like to watch the teachers with her and then I like to imitate what they did at home."

"They're teaching me while they're teaching her," he said.

Inspired by a smile

Mariah was taken from her mother at birth because she was born addicted to drugs, Jackson said. The girl's mother is not part of their lives, he said.

Mariah spent several months in foster homes while Jackson, who had a history of drug offenses before he cleaned himself up, worked to gain custody of Mariah through the Family Treatment Court in King County, which seeks to reunite families by addressing drug, alcohol and parenting issues.

He religiously attended 12-step recovery meetings, underwent regular urine analysis to prove he was drug- and alcohol-free, and visited his daughter twice a week for months. He was awarded custody of Mariah in October and began taking her to Childhaven.

He is unemployed, but he volunteers at New Horizons, where he counsels young people. He plans to enroll in a culinary-arts school next year.

Mariah will celebrate her first birthday Tuesday.

Hillary Winslow-Simpson, Jackson's case manager and counselor, said that being able to help and teach parents — and knowing that effort can pay dividends for generations to come — is part of what makes her job worthwhile.

"This is a place of healing and hope," she said. "It's wonderful to offer support to parents and then to watch their child heal and blossom. I love that."

Jackson said he's committed to doing his part, staying clean and sober and remaining accountable, patient and willing to learn.

"There are some who say that people can't change, but I'm glad somebody was there to help me and support me when I was ready to change, and I have changed," he said.

When he's tired, he just looks to his daughter who is happy and healthy despite a rocky start and he's inspired anew. "If she can keep smiling after all of that, I can keep smiling and keep going, too."

"Allergic to everything"

Like Jackson, Sharon Cormier, a seasoned foster and adoptive mother who has eight children in her Enumclaw home, said she can't overstate what Childhaven has done for her children.

Her youngest, Eddie Cormier-Higgins, 3, whom she adopted this year, has Job syndrome, a rare, inherited disease that causes recurrent and severe skin and sinus infections, among other things. It's as if Eddie is "allergic to everything," his mother said.

To prevent blisters on his skin, Eddie is bathed in bleach water and wrapped in damp pajamas over heavy, warm pajamas. He sleeps in a tent with a humidifier and an air purifier, with damp baby wipes taped on his face.

Without Childhaven, where Eddie is able to socialize with other children his age in a medically secure environment, he would be "like the boy in the bubble," Cormier said. "He doesn't want to be the boy in the bubble. He wants to play and wrestle and have a life."

Cormier said she runs all her major decisions about Eddie's care by his caretakers at Childhaven. "They're wonderful," she said.

Christine Clarridge: 206-464-8983 or cclarridge@seattletimes.com.

Seattle Times news researcher David Turim contributed

to this report.