The latest American Girl doll is ... Homeless? Really?

Commentary

The newest American Girl doll is a honey-haired cutie named Gwen Thompson who wears a simple white eyelet dress with a pink ribbon at the empire waist. She's fresh-faced, sparkly eyed and, hmmmm, let's see, what else? Oh, yes! She's homeless.

Is there a word stronger than "ironic" when a toy manufacturer sells a homeless doll to real-life pampered princesses for $95 plus tax? I'm imagining a pretty fiery board meeting as Mattel grappled with how to accessorize Gwen. You see, American Girl dolls tend to have pricey accessories ($65 plastic horse anyone?) but how to brand a homeless doll without seeming hopelessly tacky? It's not like you could, in good corporate conscience, sell a battered '86 Taurus station wagon for Gwen and her mama to sleep in.

American Girl dolls always have a book that details their place in history and Gwen is no exception. Turns out that Gwen is as American as home foreclosure. Tossed out of their home, Gwen's family begins to unravel faster than the dress on a Dollar Tree Barbie. Her triflin' Dad abandons Gwen and her mother, Janine, forcing them to sleep in their car. Dads fare almost as poorly in American Girl literature as mamas do in Disney movies. I remember taking the Princess to see the American Girl-inspired movie "Kit Kittredge" in which young Kit's Depression-era dad dropped out of sight for months, leaving his family to pick up the slack by taking in boarders and wearing cardboard shoes. At the end, we're supposed to feel all mushy when Dad returns from the big city but he still didn't have a job so what was the point?

Seems this Gwen doll provides an ideal opportunity to do a little cross-branding. Gwen and her mama could hang out in wet alleyways with the Bratz dolls who, it turns out, are just misunderstood. Most of them aren't even hookers! They just have truly appalling fashion instincts.

While there's a definite, and definitely uncomfortable, "let them eat cake" vibe to buying homeless dolls for a hundred bucks, I think American Girl is just keeping it real, storyline wise. Known for doing a pretty decent job of bringing history alive through the books and dolls, they don't shy away from the dark side.

Which can only mean one thing. Next up: MacKenzie, a spunky American Girl who experiments with drugs and alcohol to escape the reality of her daily doings with her pervy rock-star dad.

American Girl defenders believe that homeless doll Gwen provides a way to introduce your precious Oilily-clad cherub to the notion that Poor People Aren't Bad People. True that. But wouldn't it be even more effective to, say, donate that $95 to a food pantry or let your kids ladle soup at the homeless shelter a couple of times a month? Just saying.

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(Celia Rivenbark's newest book, "You Can't Drink All Day If You Don't Start in the Morning," is available at bookstores nationwide. Visit www.celiarivenbark.com for details.)