Building a home away from home for Thanksgiving

It's a strange feeling, the first time you're unsure how or where you'll spend Thanksgiving dinner.

Perhaps home is too far or too expensive or too uncomfortable to visit. Or a work schedule trumps tradition.

Thank God for cooks who delight in taking in Thanksgiving orphans, either out of kindness or simply for the entertainment value of a rotating guest list (and new side dishes) around the table each year. Tales also abound of orphans banding together to make the most of the holiday, often with fun results.

We spoke to a variety of local folks who've played both roles. Thanksgiving, they say, is about being with family — however you define it.

Thanksgiving by kayak

Jan Tackett takes the Thanksgiving tune "Over the River and Through the Woods" quite literally.

Each year he and his kayaking buddies have traversed the state to the coastal town of La Push, Clallam County, coolers, boats and, later, wives and children in tow. They'd camp in rustic cabins near the surf and cook in shifts — all the more time to kayak on nearby rivers, or one year, through the parking lot when a broken beaver dam spurred a flood.

"It was back in the day when none of us had good jobs and a lot of us were students," said Tackett, 41, now a rehabilitation psychologist and father to two small sons."We've known each other forever. It's this whole sense of, 'we're a big family.' "

Ten years down the road, they stay in fancier cabins with refrigerators. The party has grown from a dozen pals to a crowd of 45 family members and friends who wander over to the cooking cabins with their plates when dinnertime arrives.

"Our friend Mark always brings his special cranberry sauce that's just spectacular; it's very pungent and spicy, and it has lots of spices and some liquor," Tackett said. Other regulars at the table: oyster stuffing, squash soup, tapenade. So cherished are the pies that Tackett engineered a special wooden box to transport them to La Push without getting them smushed.

"Just thinking of this as a tradition for over 10 years — it's so solid, and it's hard to think of a Thanksgiving any different."

Turkey day from above

Lisa Nakamura's longtime status as a Thanksgiving orphan has taken her to myriad spots for dinner when she couldn't make it home to her parents in Hilo, Hawaii.

"My first year (at Arizona State University), I went with a dormmate to Las Vegas to spend it with her and her aunt, who was a nun and lived in a convent. The nuns would save their nickels for the slot machines," said the chef at Kirkland's Bin Vivant restaurant.

During her flight-attendant days, friends would bring Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner along to eat during layovers, she said.

"I have served many a turkey dinner in the air on Thanksgiving Day. And on holidays that I was lucky enough to get off, we would get a bunch of orphans together and celebrate. Somehow I always ended up cooking the turkey," she joked.

Thanksgiving in the woods

Sarah Haeger grew up eating Thanksgiving dinner in the western mountains of Maine.

"We would always have a turkey from the turkey farm," she remembers. "And there were always 12 pies. A couple different kinds of pumpkin pie, a couple different kinds of apple pie, mincemeat pie. There was always one of my mom's friends who made a cranberry-nut pie that was really good."

Then she moved to New York, a major roadblock to getting home in time for dinner. Friends in Connecticut took her in — for the next six years. Her potluck specialties: fried-oyster stuffing and cranberry relish.

Last year, her first Thanksgiving in the Northwest, friends rented a house in Twisp in Okanogan County, where they dined on the turkey/duck/chicken Cajun delicacy known as turducken. Guests pronounced it "interesting." Overall, she prefers being a holiday orphan, for the experiences it brings.

"You kind of get exposed to a lot of different peoples' food traditions," said Haeger, 34. "I really like that it's kind of my holiday and I don't have to do it on anybody else's terms."

The tradition continues. This year she's heading to a friend's home in Seattle, joined by a friend from New York flying in with her husband and baby "and probably just a bunch of other orphan types."

Hearing laughter from the kitchen

Amy Pennington, who runs Seattle-based edible-gardening business Go Go Green Garden, prefers playing host. The last few years she and her best friend have invited upward of a dozen pals over, often lingering long into the night over wine and dessert.

She thinks the hostess bug comes from the huge Thanksgiving dinners her mother hosted growing up on New York's Long Island. She remembers the turkey being dry but still feels warmed by the memories of so many friends and family gathered together.

"I am never more happy or comfortable than when I'm in the kitchen all day. My friends now know this and don't really worry about me," she said. "Listening third-party to the conversations and laugher when I'm in the kitchen is pretty much heaven for me. It's a great feeling, and we very much have an urban family with the rotating cast of characters."

From orphan to host of an adopted holiday

Preethi Ramani hails from India and first experienced Thanksgiving when a friend invited her home during her college days in Massachusetts.

"I just felt happy, especially then, because it would have sucked to be on a college campus having Thanksgiving alone. I was very happy to not be there and feel like I was part of this other family," she said.

She's kept that feeling alive in the years since, collaborating on turkey-day gatherings with friends. This year, she and her husband expect 14-20 guests in their Seattle home. She's still on the hunt for a table big enough to serve everyone at once.

"It was a new holiday for me when I came here. I can't celebrate it with my family even if I wanted to because they don't celebrate it and they're not here. I actually like it. It's a great time to get together either friends or family or basically close people who you feel at home with and celebrate together, have a meal together."

The program manager at a local software startup met the core group while an intern at Microsoft. Others guests met in college or through Microsoft's cricket team. In past years the group has cooked lamb curry or roasted chickens. This year she's considering Peking duck. She never did take to the taste of turkey.

"I really like having my friends over. To me, as long as it's people I'm close to and like, it doesn't really matter if I'm the host or the guest."

Karen Gaudette: 206-515-5618

or kgaudette@seattletimes.com