Weddings on a shoestring : A financial survival guide for guests

Summer is prime time for the wedding-guest gauntlet, when people are invited to witness beloved friends or family walk down the aisle. But costs can rise rapidly once you accept a wedding invite, especially if you are part of the wedding party or if the wedding is out of town.

Even when the wedding is nearby, engagement parties, bridal showers and bachelorette weekends all are potential budget-slayers. With rising gas and travel costs, most people will struggle more than usual this summer with wedding-related costs.

"It is tough," said Anja Winikka, editor of wedding Web site The Knot (www.TheKnot.com). "When you agree to go to a wedding, you're agreeing to some sort of financial obligation as well."

Maria Laciste, 30, of Renton, estimates she has spent $1,000 to $1,500 each of the six times she has been a bridesmaid. Out-of-town bachelorette parties and hosting a bridal shower are generally the biggest expenses.

On a recent trip to Las Vegas for a bachelorette party, a large group of 40 meant extra gratuities and other fees. One dinner with a set menu was $90 each.

"It's definitely not cheap," she said.

Laciste, who also is getting married this year, handles the costs by planning far in advance and budgeting.

There are additional ways to fete a dear friend or family member while keeping your budget within reason, Winikka said. Think about creative solutions for gifts and housing alternatives, and refrain from splurging on new clothes for the event.

Here are some other budgeting ideas:

• Lodging. Look into bed-and-breakfasts or staying with friends instead of staying at the recommended hotel. Share rooms with friends.

• Group gift. Find others to split a larger gift from the registry, which can allow you to get the couple a generous present but save yourself some money.

• Engagement gifts. Go easy at the engagement party, and give thank-you cards or personalized stationery, which the bride is sure to use.

Getting creative

Creative gifts are another solution for cash-strapped guests. Winikka recommends personalizing more affordable items from the registry, such as filling a wine rack.

Robert Johnsen of Bainbridge-based Mywedding.com also offered these personalized gift ideas:

• Honeymoon package. Make a basket of items for the honeymoon, including a gift certificate to a restaurant on the trip, sunscreen, magazines for the plane, a book and an online music gift card.

• Online photo book. Gather wedding photos taken by guests while the couple is on their honeymoon. Make an online photo album and print a copy for the couple.

• Customized cookbook. Collect recipes from close family members, favorite restaurants, friends and yourself. Make it with the couple's photo, bind the book at a local print service and add a kitchen gadget from the registry.

• Event calendar. The couple now has double the birthdays and anniversaries to remember. Compile important family dates and create a photo calendar with reminders. Add a box of assorted greeting cards, pens and a book of stamps.

• Moving kit. If the couple is moving into a home, put together change-of-address forms, a gift certificate to a moving truck service, coupons for local businesses and new-address cards to mail to friends and family. Add stamps, pens and even coffee gift cards.

Sometimes guests can't work around financial limitations. But you should consider letting the bride or groom know before you decline, Winikka said. It's possible they can find a way to help with lodging or travel.

And if they are holding a destination wedding that is out of your budget, offer to help the bride design ceremony programs, assemble wedding favors or other tasks to show her you want to take part in some fashion.

If you must decline, be sure to write a thank-you card.

"You don't necessarily have to explain yourself," Winikka said. "Write a nice note to recognize you were invited. It is a great way to show you appreciate that."

Nicole Tsong: 206-464-2150 or ntsong@seattletimes.com