Leap of faith: Shopping around for a place of worship

When Randy and Joanne Harvey of Crown Hill set out to find a church, they weren't thinking so much about Sunday school for their two boys, Emmett, 5, and Griffen, 3.

They were thinking of the teen years.

"We didn't feel the need to go to church until last year, when I started to think about how hard it was going to be to raise two boys in an urban area without family nearby," Joanne said. "I wanted another place for them to turn to when they stop talking to us."

Like many couples, becoming parents made the Harveys think more seriously about finding a religious community that reflected their values. But a glance at one Seattle-area phone book reveals more than 10 pages of church listings. So how exactly does one find a church, and sometimes even a faith, when there are so many to choose from?

Joanne Harvey, 35, was raised Episcopalian in upstate New York.

"I still love the Episcopalian church I grew up with," she said.

She looked up Episcopalian churches in the phone book and attended a few close to home, but found them "too stoic, too folksy or too conservative."

Randy Harvey grew up in a Catholic family in Edmonds, but by the time he was 18, "I pretty much by that point had had my belly full of dogma and religion," he said.

A friend eventually told the Harveys about University Unitarian Church in Wedgwood. They went to a service and liked the church's focus on social justice, as well as the sense of community. They now attend regularly as a family.

Although getting both kids up and dressed in time to attend church on Sundays can be a hassle, Randy Harvey said that one hour a week has been a real comfort to him. "I never really imagined myself going to church again," he said.

Fluid faith

The Harveys' experience is not unlike that of many families. American religious identity is more fluid than ever, according to a study released in February by the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life. The study found that more than 1 in 4 Americans (28 percent) has left the faith in which he or she was raised in favor of another religion, or no religion at all. (If change in affiliation from one type of Protestantism to another is included, that number is as high as 44 percent.)

The same study, based on interviews with more than 35,000 adults across the United States, also found that 37 percent of married couples have a spouse with a different religious affiliation.

That can make finding a house of worship a challenge. For couples who share a faith, it's often simply a matter of attending services at a few churches to figure out which religious community they like best. But those who aren't even certain of their affiliation may find themselves scouring the Internet or the phone book, which might not be the best approach.

"I think it's better to start with who you are and who your friends are," said the Rev. Sanford Brown, executive director of the Church Council of Greater Seattle. "If it works for them, it could work for you, too."

That's how Brian and Sherrie McLoughlin of Sammamish found The City Church after they moved to the Pacific Northwest with their two kids from Atlanta in 2005. At a cookout they met their new neighbors, who later invited them to attend a service. Although they had attended a Baptist church previously, the McLoughlins both said they liked the pastor's preaching style.

"I think once we heard the message, we knew that was the right place for us," said Brian McLoughlin, 45.

Finding a church also helped their transition to a new city.

"We really feel that once you move into an area, you need to become a part of the community," said Sherrie McLoughlin, 47.

Checking out churches

Many churches post service times and information about their beliefs on their Web sites. Others go a step further, using podcast sermons or blogs to keep the congregation informed or to attract potential members.

"We find a lot of people go online and actually listen to our pastor's message before they come," said the Rev. Jennifer Kraker, an associate pastor at The City Church, which has locations in Seattle, Kirkland, Issaquah and Mountlake Terrace.

Religious leaders say it's OK to just show up at a church service without introducing yourself to anyone. But don't necessarily expect a warm welcome, said Jim Henderson, executive director for Off The Map, a Seattle-based organization that encourages Christians to serve others in ordinary ways. At many churches, he said, someone might greet you at the door, but that's it.

"If I had to pick one thing I would encourage churches to do, it's speak to the people who walk through the doors," he said.

As a former pastor at what is now Vineyard Community Church in Shoreline, Henderson once paid people to attend his church and fill out a survey so he could find out "what the customer actually thinks." The idea evolved into a book published last year, "Jim and Casper Go to Church," in which he and Matt Casper, an atheist, traveled to 10 well-known churches throughout the country and wrote about their experiences. Henderson wanted to give others the opportunity to review churches as well, and so last year he founded churchrater.com.

Although some might find the idea of rating a church controversial, or even distasteful, "I'm trying to advocate for churches to be more aware of the outsiders they're trying to reach," Henderson said.

Some churches recognize this and have taken steps to be more welcoming. Northshore Baptist Church in Bothell even has a first-impressions team, volunteers from the congregation who serve as ushers, welcome visitors and even assist with parking, said the Rev. John Czech, a pastor at the church. The church also offers orientation classes for new attendees.

Numerous scandals among religious institutions have eroded trust, Czech said, so he recommends that those searching for a church look beyond the religious leaders and focus instead on the core beliefs.

"Then," he said, "you can honestly say to your children, 'Here's what we believe and why we believe it.' "

Joy Jernigan is a freelance writer living in Redmond. Contact her at joy.jernigan@live.com.