Speed-dating diva tells how to dazzle in a dash

For the past two years, Aviva Fannie, of Cupid.com, has run one of the most popular speed-dating events in Seattle.

Held weekly in swanky bars and bistros such as Ibiza Dinner Club in Pioneer Square, the two-hour affairs have drawn lawyers and computer programmers, especially from Microsoft.

The events have given Fannie a front-row seat to the dating scene — the blunders, the occasional chemistry, the ways men and women are different. She offers her observations... and a little advice:

Biggest mistakes daters make: "They forget to smile and make eye contact. They don't look at the girl. They look at her drink.

"And people talk too much," she continues. "They don't listen. Don't just talk about yourself. Ask questions and be interested in knowing about the other person. And don't bring a list of prepared questions or they will think, 'Are we doing a job interview or what?' "

Why some prefer speed dating: "Participants get to meet up to 12 ... singles of the opposite sex in the age group of their choice, in one... evening."

With online dating, "You drive all the way to the date location, just to meet one person. And if there's no connection... then you'd feel stuck."

Most common icebreaker: "What do you do for fun?"

How the sexes differ: "There is always one really attractive woman, and all of the guys will choose her." But for a really attractive guy, "Maybe 50 or 70 percent of the women will choose him. Women also look at his personality and interpersonal skills. Women are more selective than guys. That's just the nature."

A speed-dating study at Columbia University recently concluded that men don't pick women they think are smarter than them.

"I don't know about that," Fannie says. "Some guys are intimidated by brainy girls. But some aren't."

The best part of her job: "When I call past participants, some will say, 'I already met somebody. It was that guy — No. 8 from your speed-dating event.' That's the satisfaction I get. That's the fun part."

Advice to daters: "People like to hear their name, so mention their name in the conversation. A good sense of humor helps. It puts people at ease.... Show you have a brain. And guys, grooming helps."

Tan Vinh: 206-515-5656 or tvinh@seattletimes.com