Answers to your questions about home care

It's time to tie up some loose ends in our discussion about home care.

In my last several columns, I talked about your choices of in-home providers, how to find them and the questions to ask to ensure high-quality care. As you may now realize, home care is the most complicated and potentially expensive elder care there is. It's one thing to need a "little help" from a son, daughter or home-care aid; it's quite another to require assistance 24/7.

And, unlike an adult family home or retirement community that arranges for each client's needs, coordinating someone's care at home rests entirely on the family's shoulders.

Here are questions from readers that might shed a bit more light:

Q: Since bathrooms are the most dangerous rooms in our homes — because they're slippery — where do I get grab bars and other equipment that will keep my mom safe?

A: The first task most of us need assistance with as we grow older is bathing. It's better to get help, hired or otherwise, than slip in the tub and break a hip. Installing assistive devices to prevent slipping is a first critical step.

You'll find grab bars for the tub and toilet, raised toilet seats, shower seats, walkers, wheelchairs and lots more safety aids in the Yellow Pages under "Medical Equipment." More are available on the Internet. Some are available free through community groups. Call your local Senior Information & Assistance office (see accompanying contact information) for details.

Information

To find a Senior Information & Assistance office in any county in the country, call the Eldercare Locator at 800-677-1116 or go online to www.eldercare.gov. In King County, call 888-435-3377 or go to www.seniorservices.org.

Q: My wife and I in our early 80s and want to stay at home as we get older. But we didn't realize how complicated it could be. Where do we begin to deal with the issues you raised, like keeping social, exercising and eating right, if we get sick?

A: My first response: Turn the "if" to "when." We all need to become more realistic about our likelihood of living long and well, then longer and less well. "Plan for the best, prepare for the worst" is my motto.

The best time to begin is before you decline. You know you can't remain healthy forever; however, one of the most certain ways to delay impairment is to adopt healthy living habits early. The sooner, the better, but your early 80s isn't too late. I call it the FEN fix: Friends/Family, Exercise and Nutrition.

Heaven knows FEN isn't glamorous, and we've heard it a million times already, but it's true. So tell your inertia to take a hike. While you're still able to drive or take a bus, develop a social life with people you care about.

Older people who have no family need to create circles of friends that act as family. Then, stay active: Volunteer, take classes, learn something new. Pay attention to what you eat, and make sure it's nutritious.

Start exercising. If you don't now, walk around the block or down the hall once every day this week. Next week, go a little farther. That's how I started, and I now walk 2 to 3 miles every day.

In urban areas like ours, there are an amazing number of resources to help. You can eat a low-priced lunch daily or weekly at many senior centers and other sites throughout most counties. City and county park departments, YMCAs, community centers and gyms offer a wide array of exercise programs developed for older bodies — swimming, yoga, aerobics, dancing, Tai Chi. Your local Senior Information & Assistance can tell you more.

Exercise doesn't reward us immediately and, even in the long-term, the benefits can be subtle. But there's no better way to stay healthy as you age. But now, let's say your health is failing, as it does eventually for all of us. You've had a stroke, your emphysema has become worse or you've been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Living at home, how can you stay physically active, eat well and be with other people when you're impaired? The answer, if you're lucky enough to live near one: adult day centers.

These are places where frail people can go during the day — to exercise, make friends, eat a nutritious meal and see health-care professionals, says Sara Myers, executive director of the Washington Adult Day Services Association.

Just as important, they give caregiving relatives a break, knowing their family members are active and well-cared-for. Transportation can be arranged. Fees are private-pay or covered by Medicaid. You can learn more, plus get a list of centers, by going online to www.adultday.org or calling 206-461-3899.

In addition, a growing number of outlets will provide food to your home: groceries through the Mobile Market, (frozen) meals on wheels and freshly made meals from private caterers, such as Delicious Planet and Lucky Palate. Contact Senior Information & Assistance for details.

Q: My mom needs a way to call for help if she falls in the middle of the night. Where can she get an emergency response system?

A: There are many sources. Again, contact Senior Information & Assistance for a list.

Liz Taylor's column runs Mondays in the Northwest Life section. A specialist in aging and long-term care for 30 years, she consults with families and their elders. E-mail her at growingolder@seattletimes.com or write to P.O. Box 11601, Bainbridge Island, WA 98110.

You can see all of her columns at www.seattletimes.com/growingolder/.