Experts say that if you're thinking of telling a secret, give it careful consideration. You might want to seek out advice from someone you can trust, such as a therapist or a clergy member.

People who have dealt professionally with secrets offer their insights:

Coming out

The first time you do it is the hardest, says David Kilmnick, executive director of Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth. Beforehand, assess how you think a person might react, and have a plan to deal with that. If you're concerned about the reactions of a boss or your co-workers, become versed in your company's anti-discrimination policies, and put away money to live on in case you have to find another job — or a good lawyer.

Crime

If you committed a crime but never got caught and now want to come clean, business consultant and author Bill Lampton suggests carefully selecting a trustworthy person, telling all the circumstances and explaining why you did it. "Don't hold back. It's not helpful to just tell part of a secret." Also ask this person's advice about what you should do next. You might own up to it in person or anonymously or, for serious offenses, surrender to authorities.

Panic disorders

Being secretive about having panic attacks can often be more debilitating than the actual disorder, says David Carbonell, psychologist and author of "Panic Attacks Workbook: A Guided Program for Beating the Panic Trick." Whether it's shopping at a certain grocery, speaking in public or attending a social gathering, his advice: Be selective about those you tell, but be as open about your condition as possible.

Medical issues

If there are genetic implications for your children, you should tell them, says Carol Goldberg, a Long Island, N.Y., clinical psychologist specializing in stress management and wellness. You should never keep a sexually transmitted disease a secret from your partner or others, such as a family member or roommate who could be harmed by it, says Toni Coleman, a Northern Virginia psychotherapist-relationship coach. "If you have potentially exposed someone to AIDS," she adds, "you need to tell."

Infidelity

If you're contemplating telling your partner about a one-night stand, ask yourself why. "If you're doing it for selfish reasons, talk to your therapist," says clinical psychologist and sex therapist Sandor Gardos. If you're telling to get to the root of a problem in your relationship, that's different. If it's an ongoing, long-term affair, better your partner hears it from you than someone else, he says.