"Oh, my gawd, Becky, look at her butt. It is so big. She looks like one of those rap guys' girlfriends. ... It's just so round, it's like, out there, I mean — gross. Look!"

With that opener to 1992's "Baby Got Back," Sir Mix-A-Lot neatly captured the postmodern struggle between dominant white beauty standards and the multiethnic reality of women — and he did it by rhyming "Honda," "Fonda" and "anaconda."

Mix-A-Lot was about 15 years ahead of his time. Because now, thanks to increasing diversity, the women's fitness scene and growing appreciation of body types other than "twiglike" (not to mention the J.Lo empire), round rears are in.

People's Exhibit A: The new Falke contour panty on sale for $52 at Figleaves.com. It's high-waisted, with two firm yet squishy removable pads in back. The end result: One fills out one's jeans like never before — and much faster than the Doritos route.

Jo Jeffery of Figleaves.com said that the Falke was doing very well for a specialty, or "niche," item.

"We're very pleased with it," she said. "All the shapewear products are doing very well for us right now."

The Falke is but one of dozens of like products on the market (called "body shapers" instead of "girdles" or "falsies" for the same reason we now say "dried plums" instead of "prunes" — it's the same thing, but sounds better). Figure helpers don't look as vicious as they did in the 1950s and '60s — soft microfiber has mostly replaced dangly hooks, pointy cones and rigid, rubber-smelling elastic — and you get a more realistic silhouette.

It's still tricky, though.

"The more you squish something in and tighten and smooth — the stuff that's being squished, tightened and smoothed is going to explode out somewhere," said Sharon Haver, founder of the online style, beauty and fashion site www.focusonstyle.com. "The fat's going to start to fly out of your upper waist, or whatever you're wearing will cut into your upper thigh and leave an outline."

Your chief weapon against fat-flying, she said, is to find garments with elastic inside their structure and no bands anywhere.

No matter how well constructed performance underwear is, it's not for the claustrophobic or the easily embarrassed.

On the one side (claustrophobic yet effective) we have lines like Spanx, The Body Wrap and Flexees. Think control panties, stockings, knee-highs, tops and body suits that vanquish visible panty lines as well as bulges.

You can find all kinds of shapers online and in stores, but Spanx heads the pack. Liz Pennington of Coplon's in Columbia, S.C., said that the brand's nylon/Lycra Spandex "Power Panty" is a year-round best seller.

"They hold everything in and smooth everything out," she said. "Certain undergarments, like thongs, just don't cut it."

On the ridiculous yet effective side, there are products like TakeOuts — breast enhancers made of clear medical-grade silicone. Put them in front of your bra for voluptuousness, underneath for lift or on the sides for cleavage — and they come in a bright pink, Chinese food-style container. You can buy TakeOuts for $42 at retailers (although, at press time, the store was sold out).

"Once someone gets a pair, they tell someone they know," said Bohemian's Mandy Fannin. She said the store will soon be carrying Low Beams nipple-concealer adhesives, made by our friends at TakeOuts. (Because, as the advertisement says, "Headlights are for cars.")

All this shapewear equals a ton of money and discomfort — and business gets rounder and perkier by the day.

"Part of it is that you want to look the best you can, and if any of this stuff makes you feel better, that's good," Haver said. "But you need to realize that this is the sort of thing you want to be wearing occasionally, with a slinky dress, not every day.

"The rest of the time, understand your figure and wear clothes that are easier on it."

For example: If you wear a size 8 pant, no amount of Lycra is going to make you a size 4. You'll just look like a slimmer, better-toned size 8.

Another example: Watch out for the angled seams of bias cuts, and flimsy/lightweight anything — those things put any kind of bulge on display. Instead, Haver said, wear something heavier with more structure that glides over your body.

"All these peasant skirts are great for covering up larger hips, and A-line skirts are universally flattering," she said. "Anything with a little bit of Lycra in it is your friend."

Lycra, TakeOuts and the Falke are a powerful troika of friends — and perhaps a sociopolitical enemy. In a world where women make less money and have less power than men, is it counterproductive to be squishing in and fluffing out various body parts?

Laura Davis, 32, of Columbia, is inclined to think so. While she would take a faux fanny out for a spin if given the chance, she wouldn't wear it seriously or spend money on one.

"I think that the whole idea is sort of ridiculous," she said. "The only people who really need some additional support for their rears are us fat chicks, and unless this bra is super heavy-duty, it ain't doing a thing for my [butt].

"Personally, I find the idea of [the Falke] sad, too. I feel that women are always trying to enhance their appearances for the pleasure of men. This is just another example of that."