Ask for a break on a dress at the mall? Request a discount on prime rib at the grocery store? Or negotiate a better rate for a hotel room? The very thought is mortifying.

But there's actually never been a better time to wrestle yourself a better deal on virtually anything from clothing to doctor bills.

Once thought of as a dying art largely confined to Old World bazaars and the stray yard sale in the United States, haggling is an ancient phenomenon that is spreading rapidly in modern day America, experts say.

Thanks to a weakened economy, a dip in consumer spending, rising costs and most of all, the smorgasbord of products, sellers and information available online, experts say that a small but growing number of consumers are starting to realize once again that a price tag is merely just a starting point for negotiations.

Today, almost 60 percent of consumers ask for a discount on purchases, compared with 40 percent 10 years ago, according to America's Research Group (ARG), a consumer behavior marketing firm.

Today's consumer mantra isn't Spend 'Til It Hurts, but rather: It Never Hurts to Ask.

"Haggling is definitely on the increase," says Britt Beemer, chairman of the Charleston, S.C.,-based ARG. "American consumers are not confrontational, and haggling can be a confrontational experience. But people want better deals. As economic times have gotten more difficult, they're no longer afraid to ask for one.

How to haggle "Haggling should be a total body experience," says Staten Island, N.Y., resident Diane DiResta and author. "Command your space the minute you walk in," she says. "Your overall goal should be to exude an aura of confidence. You do this with body language that looks deliberate and flows smoothly." Other tips: Cash. Sellers are more willing to bargain if they get cash up front. If you don't have it all at once, offer a large portion of it in cash. Homework. If you know Store A is selling a product at a lower price, mention that if you're trying to get a lower price at Store B. Talk to the boss. A store clerk will tell you the price is set in stone, but the store owner has the authority to change prices. Timing. Don't try to bargain when a store is busy. Managers are less likely to cut deals when other people are watching. Supply/demand. If a product is in high demand, you're less likely to get a discount. Merchants are more flexible when they're trying to move products off the shelves and hotels when a lot of their rooms are empty. Smile. Aggressive, obnoxious and condescending behavior will get you nowhere. Be polite and friendly. Be silent. Listen for an offer and then stop talking. Uncomfortable silences will sometimes prompt sellers to come up with a better price. Walk away. Come with a drop-dead amount you're willing to pay. If you don't reach that number, don't be afraid to walk away. Merchants will often call you back for more negotiating. Seattle Times wire services

"And retailers are much more likely to give us discounts today because every sale is so much more precious than before," Beemer says. "There's more competition and more places for people to spend money. All those things play a role. But the key is, you have to ask."

Experts say spendthrift sensibility shouldn't be limited to big-ticket items such as homes and cars. The results can b0e surprising.

Rick Doble, who is editor and publisher of savvy-discounts.com, based in North Carolina, says he wrangles over everything: hotel rooms, electronics, mattresses and even food.

Doble has walked into grocery stores and charmed managers into marking down overly ripe bananas, almost expired beef and milk that will go bad in the next day or so. Doble has even worked his magic in fast-food restaurants.

"They sold me chicken for almost nothing because they were closing," Doble says. "They have a choice, would they rather throw this out or would they rather sell it for a lot less? First of all, you and I know they don't want to throw it out. They'd rather get something for it than nothing.

"Nine times out of 10, when you ask, you'll get a better deal," Doble says.

A 2002 Harris Interactive poll found that a sizable minority of the public haggle with their health-care providers. At the time, the poll found that 17 percent dicker with their pharmacists, 13 percent with their doctors, 12 percent with dentists and 10 percent with hospitals.

Harris predicted then that as out-of-pocket health-care costs rise, the number of people who demand deals on everything from eye exams to surgical procedures will rise substantially.

Americans weren't always so reluctant to wheel and deal.

In the country's early days, no one thought twice about haggling over the price of eggs at a neighborhood market. But with the 19th century came the advent of big department stores and standardized prices as merchants found it easier to set one price for all. And as technology improved, merchants had an even easier excuse for fixing prices — everything was in the computer.

But these days, technology is benefiting the consumer. Faster and more sophisticated computers allow merchants to charge whatever price they want, experts say, and fierce competition and the proliferation of Internet stores has forced traditional businesses to become more nimble about pricing.

"Companies know they have to be prepared to offer the best deal these days," says Steven Cohen, founder of the Negotiation Skills Co. in Massachusetts. "Because consumers do have a tremendous amount of choice, the haggling that is taking place is more sophisticated and subtle, especially over the Internet."

Consumers should know that hotels, travel agencies and even apparel stores — businesses that have been historically reluctant to budge on pricing — now realize consumers easily can spend their money elsewhere.

And for some businesses, a firm price on merchandise doesn't necessarily mean they won't bend on something else, say offering free delivery or installation or an extra gift.

"Americans generally are not very good at asking for what they want or need," says Roger Volkema, a management professor at American University and author of "The Negotiation Toolkit: How to Get Exactly What You Want in Any Business or Personal Situation." "We accept whatever is printed on the price tag."

Americans, according to a study published in the Journal of Marketing Theory and Practice in 2001, like a good bargain but prefer to shop in a "gentle, direct, nonconfrontational," manner.

To test that theory, Volkema says as a first assignment for negotiation students, he often requires them to go to a restaurant and ask for something that is not on the menu. He says his American students are often inclined to ask for something simple, like sprinkling cheese on a salad.

It's that inherent desire to avoid being difficult, insulting and aggressive that causes many Americans to miss out on the best deals.

Even worse are those who adhere to American financier JP Morgan's famous line, "If you have to ask how much it costs, you can't afford it." Americans have an intense fear of looking cheap, experts say.

Doble recalls his horror as a child when his father would quibble over a hotel rate.

Today, of course, hotel rooms are among the most negotiable items. Bargain hunters know to check travel sites like Orbitz or Expedia, compare those rates with the hotel's Web site, and then if they still don't think they've unearthed the best price, call the hotel to ask for something lower.

"A lot of people are afraid of negotiating," Cohen says. "The thing is, you're not insulting anyone. There is a negative connotation to being a good haggler, but no negative connotation to being a good buyer. You're just trying to make it so that each of you walks away committed to an agreement that pretty much satisfies both your needs."

Sun staff researcher Jean Packard contributed to this article.