Religion / The Rev. Dale Turner
Aging doesn't preclude living a rich, full life

Editor's note: The Rev. Dale Turner, who began writing a weekly column on religion for The Times in 1983, is retiring as a columnist in January 2005.

Turner began his column after his retirement in 1982 as pastor at Seattle's University Congregational Church. In the ensuing 21 years, he has written on a range of topics, from kindness and prayer to life's difficulties, the power of humor and the loss of a pet.

We invite you to share your thoughts about Turner and how his messages have influenced you. Mail your comments to Judy Groom, The Seattle Times, P.O. Box 70, Seattle, WA 98111, or e-mail them to jgroom@seattletimes.com. Include your name and telephone number so we can verify authenticity. We will include a selection of responses in a special tribute to Turner to be published in January with his farewell column.

Until then, we will republish some of Turner's most popular columns. This column, on the beauty of aging, was published Jan. 5, 2002.

E-mail this article Print this article Search archive Most read articles Most e-mailed articles

There is a common misapprehension that aging means all activities cease, that the brain dries up and muscles shrivel, and that ambition, creative desires and pleasures vanish. The aged are often considered the inescapable victims of human decline. It is an unfortunate conclusion and doesn't jibe with the facts.

Rich, full lives

The majority of the elderly in our country live rich and full lives. Limited finances and some ailments do begin to appear, but most older people are remarkably resilient and meet life with perspective and humor.

An 83-year-old friend is such a person. He told me he knew he was getting older when it took longer to rest than it did to get tired. "At 83," he says, "a fella may have as much on the ball as he ever had, but it does take more time to get the ball rolling."

It is a mark of ingratitude to resent growing old. There are those who have been denied the privilege. I think of a host of my colleagues, friends and family members who died at an early age.

Our American youth cult has created the silly concept that in youth alone is beauty, excitement and achievement to be found. But the joys of youth are often better in retrospect. "The carefree days of youth" is really a misnomer. "Thank God," said Rudyard Kipling, "we never have to suffer again as we did when we were young."

Every stage of life has its difficulties, and each age its compensations. No life can really be categorized in one sentence as neatly as Joseph Cook has stated it: "Striving twenties, thriving thirties, fiery forties, faithful fifties, sober sixties, solemn seventies, aching eighties, the sod, God!"

We do not automatically move from one stage to the next. We become what we are over a long period of time. The thoughts we harbor write their names on our faces. A beautiful face at 5 is an accident of nature, but a beautiful face at 50 is a work of art.

Happiness in the latter years of life demands some preparation beforehand. An assured income is not enough with which to meet old age. We must accumulate friends and nurture family ties. We must lay up reserves of mental pleasure. We must plan and work, through exercise and good eating habits, for the health that is important to enjoyment of the later years.

A seminary professor in Chicago tells his students to work with such diligence that they will be prepared to do their best work after they are 50. David Starr Jordan, the first president of Stanford, thought his most productive years were between the ages of 60 and 70, and Bertrand Russell, the humanist, was leading causes for peace in England when he was in his 90s.
 
Accepting some changes

It is said that Lady Astor, the first woman to serve in the British Parliament, and a strong supporter of the rights of women and children, dreaded the day when she would be 80. She thought she would no longer be able to do the things she liked to do. But when she arrived at 80, she said she no longer wanted to do them.

Common sense accepts the changes of time and appreciates the measure of health and well being that is ours at each stage of life.

Adela Rogers St. Johns, one of America's great writers, knew how to do that. She made the most of each day until her death last year. She accepted and laughed at what she called the "ravages of time."

Quoting Mark Twain, she said, "Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been."

In Marcus Bach's helpful book, "Illusions," we read, "If you think your mission in life is over and you are still alive — it isn't."

Usefulness in old age may not be confined to spectacular contributions, but to a cheerful outlook and acts of love and kindness.

The meaning of it all may be best illustrated in the story Thomas Drier tells about seeing an 80-year-old planting a peach tree. "Why are you doing that?" he asked. "You'll never be around to eat them." "True," said the planter, "but I've been eating peaches all my life from trees I didn't plant, and I'm just trying to repay a little."