Parenting / Jan Faull
Don't rush move from crib to bed

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DEAR JAN: At what age is it appropriate to move a child from the crib into a big bed? My daughter is 14 months old. She walks and climbs, and I fear she might fall climbing out of her crib. The real reason I am asking, however, is that we're considering having a second child. We'd like to avoid buying a second crib. What do you think?

— A mom

Dear Mom: To a child, the crib is more than just a place to sleep. It's a place of security and comfort. Since the child is confined, she's safe while falling asleep, through the night and after waking in the morning.

With toddlerhood comes turmoil as the child discovers and uses her own mind. The child experiences frustration when no longer receiving exactly what she wants. On top of all of this, the toddler makes the transitions from highchair to table and from diapers to underwear, and, with the arrival of a sibling, she loses the position of being her parents' one and only focus of attention.

It's a lot for the child to bear. Therefore, rather than moving the older child out of her bed, consider borrowing one for the infant. Thereby you're allowing the firstborn to sleep in her crib until she's perfectly ready to move into a different bed.

It is dangerous when a child climbs out of her crib. She could fall and break a bone. If a child is climbing over the railing of the crib, parents can keep the side of the crib down. The child continues to sleep in the crib, which equates to security and comfort even if she's no longer confined.

Parents need to develop a plan to encourage the child to stay in the crib while falling asleep and then remain there until morning.

Moving a child from a crib to a bed usually occurs easily between 2-1/2 and 3 years. But there's more to moving the child into the single bed than simply expecting the child to remain there from 8 p.m. to 7 a.m. The child needs to switch spots of security from one sleeping place to another.
 
Develop your own plan with consideration for the following approach. Take your child with you to purchase the new bed. Involve the child in buying sheets and blankets, and then in setting up and making the bed. If space allows, keep the crib up for the first month or so.

Have the child take her nap on the big bed, allow her to play on it, and encourage her to put her teddy bears to sleep there.

When the night comes that she is to fall asleep in her big bed, follow the same bedtime routine as always, which probably includes a story, song, prayer, kiss and hug, but now sit by the bed or at least stay outside the door. If the child starts to get out of bed, put her back.

Your child might be anxious about this new place to sleep, so you need to stay calm. Don't do much talking, just be there gently patting your child as she falls asleep, or singing softly if you're sitting outside the door. At first you'll provide lots of support as you see that your child remains in bed. In time, your child will learn to settle herself to sleep with only her dolls and teddy bears to keep her company through the night.

Jan Faull, a specialist in child development and behavior, answers questions of general interest in her column. You can e-mail her at janfaull@aol.com or write to: Jan Faull, c/o Families, The Seattle Times, P.O. Box 70, Seattle, WA 98111.