Bob Miyamoto has learned to slow down and take back his time — how are you doing?

When we first met Bob Miyamoto, he was a man who said yes to everything he felt needed to get done, scheduling his off-hours in 15-minute increments. Yet, Miyamoto's "to-do" list grew longer, as he told The Seattle Times in response to a story we ran last year about Take Back Your Time Day (it's coming up again: see related story). Miyamoto worked with coach Carolyn Fung for three months to learn how to prioritize and balance his life. Today we see how he's doing after six months on his own. For tips on learning to say no to gain control of your life, see a related story). For earlier stories in this series, visit www.seattletimes.com/lifecoach

By Sherry Stripling
Seattle Times staff reporter

KEN LAMBERT / THE SEATTLE TIMES Bob Miyamoto enjoys his recently constructed backyard pond, once a symbol of projects gone unfinished. Bob, who has been working with a life coach on better ways to take back his time, hired a company to complete the pond instead of tackling the project himself.

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Related stories Oct. 24: Put yourself in time out It's OK to say yes to saying no Other links More stories in this series

MILL CREEK — In the six months since Bob Miyamoto learned from a personal coach how to slow down for better life balance, two questions have stuck in his mind like Post-its:

"Why do you do it that way?" and "Could you do it differently?"

Together they've allowed Miyamoto to stay on course in his journey from the overwhelmed worker/dad nicknamed "Busy Bob" to the man his coach calls "Mr. Mellow Fellow."

A year ago, The Seattle Times reported on "Take Back Your Time Day," part of a national movement with strong local roots. The movement is a reaction to the "time poverty" many people feel from increased work hours, traffic, and home demands.

Could someone actually take back their time? To find out, we hired life coach Carolyn Fung to work with Miyamoto, who'd volunteered by saying, "I'm 52 and would have a midlife crisis, if I had the energy."

Miyamoto's goal was to not rush through everything, even time off. With Fung's help and readers watching, Miyamoto made mincemeat of a "to-do" list that had weighed on him for years, and in turn relieved the pressure on his off-hours.

The second Take Back Your Time Day is Oct. 24 and it's time for a six-month checkup with Miyamoto, who says he's happy with his experience with Fung and would hire her himself, knowing what he knows now. He stipulates, however, that people should do serious research to hire the right coach.

	KEN LAMBERT / THE SEATTLE TIMES Here's Bob Miyamoto with his family in January. Unpacking groceries, from left: wife Deanna, daughter Leah, 13, and daughter Tamra, 17.

What's stuck with him? What hasn't? And does he still believe in his coach's concept that a productive life should be like music with... pauses... between... the... notes?

The most dramatic change is his attitude, Miyamoto says, standing beside a backyard pond that used to be a nagging symbol of things undone at home. Now instead of letting things add up, he takes care of them.

Building a deck took him years. Hiring a company to complete the pond took one day and provided hours of serenity and family time over the summer.

"The best decision we made," he says.

He continues to use Fung's technique of taking time each weekend to organize contact information that will help him accomplish his to-do list during the week, even if he's traveling for work.

"The house is painted. The teeth are done. The will is made. I haven't added anything significant to the folder and I don't feel guilty about that."

He went into this process saying he wouldn't make changes if they jeopardized his work, which is to generate business for the University of Washington's Applied Physics Laboratory, finding ways science and technology can transition to practical use.

In fact, he told Fung, there was nothing he could change. He needed to be on the East Coast almost every week. He had to be available and in contact all weekend.

	KEN LAMBERT / THE SEATTLE TIMES Coach Carolyn Fung worked to turn "Busy Bob" into "Mr. Mellow Fellow" over the last six months.

"Why?" she asked, as she asked about everything. All those "whys" planted seeds that took root long after the coaching ended.

Now Miyamoto questions himself, which has led to better recognition of "what has to be done" versus the endless yoke of "what could be done."

Why does he work late in the office on Friday if he's been traveling since dawn to get back to Seattle?

Why does he have to go to every conference if he's already made contacts there year after year?

Small changes have made big differences. He's worked at home on Fridays for the past two months. That has meant quiet time for writing and the comfort of being at home.

He takes a 30-minute nap after lunch on Fridays to recover from the rigors of travel and so carries more energy into the weekend. His weight is down from exercising regularly because he's home more. His blood pressure is the best it's been, and he no longer checks it nightly to monitor his stress level.

But perspective needs to be added, says Jim Luby, a longtime co-worker who also has a life of "travel, travel, travel." Anybody who knows Miyamoto still describes him as "extremely busy" and available seven days a week.

"But any stepping back for him is a big plus."

Where has Miyamoto failed?

	KEN LAMBERT / THE SEATTLE TIMES Has Bob Miyamoto really learned to manage his time better these days? He and his wife, Deanna, feel he no longer says yes to everything.

He hasn't kept up on the personal reading Fung assigned him to do, which was her way of breaking Miyamoto's pattern of denying himself downtime.

His desk at home is still a mess. His shoelaces are often untied, Miyamoto says.

But he accepts that he doesn't have to be productive all the time to lead a productive life. He's learned to say no, he says. "To set boundaries," Fung adds.

"Ask me to do anything," he says, "Just don't take it personally if I say no. You have to understand everywhere I'm going at once."

Yes, the family had more fun on their vacation this year because Miyamoto didn't spend it all in the hotel room sending e-mails and growing resentful.

Yes, he still makes himself accessible, his wife, Deanna, says.

"But no longer to the whole planet."

Sherry Stripling: sstripling@seattletimes.com

Copyright © 2004 The Seattle Times Company

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