Jerry Large / Times staff columnist
Cosby was right to say what he thinks — we all should

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Bill Cosby is taking black folks to the woodshed, or rather some black people. At an event commemorating the Brown v. Board decision on its 50th anniversary this month, he criticized the behavior of "lower-income people," especially parents who aren't parenting. He blasted black athletes making millions but lacking education, and criticized hip-hop culture and out-of-wedlock births.

He did it again last week in a speech at Stanford University, where he was raising money for education. Some people in the first audience seemed bothered by his remarks, and a slew of black columnists have spent ink on the topic.

A number of writers have already pointed out he didn't say anything you wouldn't hear if you dropped into a black barbershop, but he said it out where other people could hear. People who think the worst of black people already.

Some people who want black Americans to be more self-critical delight in using such introspection as a weapon. Naturally, black folks are reluctant to hand stones to people who are very likely to hurl them back. So, round and round it goes.

Keeping dirty laundry private is not a black thing. Most people do it. There were howls of indignation when newspapers first dared to publish photos of U.S. military wrongdoing in Iraq. Don't rat out your own people, some said.

Revise history to make it more accurate? Not if it makes Americans look bad, a big chunk of our population would say.

Admit that racism is real? No way.

We've talked about this before, you and I. America has wrestled with itself over what to think about black people since its beginning.

Nowadays people debate the reasons for higher rates of black poverty and prison incarceration, early deaths, lower homeownership, lagging test scores. Is it racism, or is there something wrong with black people?

It's the either/or dichotomy Americans apply to just about every issue. Complexity doesn't cut it around here — just look at that blue state, red state polarization. I don't know whether most white people know that racism is alive and well, and that the effects of centuries of even worse racism have left a lingering mark. I am sure that most black people know personal responsibility are part of the equation in everyone's life.
 
Like Cosby, I get angry when I see black people squandering opportunities, young people who don't do their best in school, parents who don't push their children forward. I bristle at people behaving rudely on the street, and I have a low opinion of rappers who choose to demean themselves with foul language and violent, woman-hating lyrics.

Knowing the social dynamics that contribute to that behavior doesn't lessen my ire at the individuals who, after all, are still responsible for their conduct. Still, I know that not all or even most black people are like them. I also know that people who are not black have often treated me as if I were dangerous, stupid, lazy or whatever else they thought I was supposed to be because of my coloration.

No matter your economic status, your education level, your personal habits, if you are black, you are tied to society's worst perceptions of black people.

And because political arguments are so black and white, there is a tendency for many black people to keep negative comments about other black people to ourselves.

We shouldn't. Cosby was right to speak out. I wish he hadn't singled out poor people — there's plenty to say about middle-class and upper-class black folks too. But his anger was justified, and so was his openness.

We need a more open discussion.

Three-quarters of white Americans say black people are treated fairly, according to a Gallup poll conducted last month and commissioned by the AARP and the Leadership Conference on Civil Rights.

Only 38 percent of black Americans agreed. (Latinos were almost divided down the middle on that question.)

Only 12 percent of white people and 5 percent of black people said relations between the two groups were "very good."

I heard a man who mediates disputes for a living say the biggest hurdle in most disputes is that each side sees only its half of the truth. One side will argue that the sky is blue while the other yells that the grass is green. Neither listens to the other or acknowledges the truth of what the other is saying. They argue and get nowhere.

Racism is real and still affects people's lives, but too many people sabotage themselves. All of this needs to be discussed if we are to continue toward a society in which the only thing skin color determines is which shirt looks best on you.

Jerry Large: 206-464-3346 or jlarge@seattletimes.com.

More columns at www.seattletimes.com/columnists.