Just what we wanted to hear

Candidates say the darndest things.

Whatever their real beliefs, the successful ones know exactly what they must and must not say. Kabuki politics.

Don't some of Barack Obama's peace-loving supporters wince each time he says he wants to hunt down Osama bin Laden and kill him? That's so violently un-Zen, dude.

The thing is, these candidates have to woo millions of voters. I try to take that into account when I watch one of the debates that aren't really debates.

Tuesday night the presidential candidates held a town-hall meeting that wasn't a town-hall meeting.

The moderator asked them whether the economy was going to get worse before it got better.

Neither answered yes, though I suspect that is the correct answer. And I imagine they didn't say yes because they figured the majority of us would rather hear the wrong answer.

And of course they both remember President Carter. During an energy and economic crisis in 1979, he warned Americans about rampant consumerism and urged people to conserve energy. He was concerned about our values.

He lost to Ronald Reagan, who told us we were wonderful. Republicans always mention Reagan in campaigns. He was upbeat.

Democrats talk about John F. Kennedy, but never Jimmy Carter. Asked what sacrifices they would ask of ordinary Americans, both candidates danced around a bit, but left us free from burden. They dare not voice an idea that would upset anyone who is not on the official list of bad guys, which this year features Wall Street bankers.

Candidates now are so scripted that in debates they often don't bother with the questions, they just try to look and sound presidential while repeating the speeches they've been using for weeks.

John McCain's running mate, Sarah Palin, said right up front in last Thursday's debate that she was going to ignore the questions.

That was refreshing, sort of. I mean the contest is partly about seeing how well a person can follow the rules. But, of course, she's a maverick.

She said there was nothing patriotic about being willing to pay more taxes.

At first I thought the tax thing was crazy. Isn't it patriotic to contribute one's share?

But, heck, didn't the founders split with Britain because they didn't want to pay taxes? Maybe it is American to want something for nothing.

I'd never thought of it that way. (Wink.)

In fact, part of the ritual of these debates is that all the candidates say they are going to cut taxes. They also have to say they like working moms and small businesses and the troops and hardworking families, and God, and Israel.

And they must tell us they are against marriage for gays, special interests (the other guy's supporters), and pointy-headed intellectuals (though, of course, they are for education).

It's a tight script that doesn't allow much room for significant discussions relevant to current circumstances.

That's why I was starting to zone out Wednesday night, but I felt guilty, because it is my patriotic duty to stay sharp and try to read between the lines.

I do it because America is the best country in the world and Americans are the best people in the world. Kiss, kiss.

Jerry Large's column appears Monday and Thursday. Reach him at 206-464-3346 or jlarge@seattletimes.com.