Wake-up call needed for a Mariners team in crisis

OK, confession: I fell asleep during a Mariners game last week, too.

It's pretty easy to do. As poorly as this team hits, you have to be an insomniac or addicted to NoDoz to keep your eyelids elevated during their offensive lulls. On their worst days, the Mariners should be nicknamed the Melatonins.

On a comfy couch like mine, you're a goner watching uninspiring baseball. So I have empathy if the average person can't resist snoozing on the M's right now.

But Ken Griffey Jr. is not the average person.

He took a nap during a game Saturday and missed a potential pinch-hitting opportunity, according to The News Tribune. And so the nightmare continues for the slumping Mariners.

The story goes on to speculate that Griffey, who has a .208 batting average and just two extra-base hits (both doubles) in 83 plate appearances this season, could be released or nudged into retirement by the end of the month. If so, it would be one of the most embarrassing, heartbreaking exits ever for a future Hall of Famer.

In the bigger picture, however, it's just another kooky controversy for a team we thought was beyond such nonsense.

Consider the past two weeks.

• Prized acquisition Cliff Lee comes off the disabled list, puts on a show in a losing effort, and the next day, his agent openly dreams of free agency.

• On the same night as Lee's debut, Eric Byrnes loses his mind, fails to put down a suicide squeeze and storms off after the game on a bicycle, nearly crashing into general manager Jack Zduriencik on his way out. Two days later, he is released.

• Milton Bradley argues with manager Don Wakamatsu, gets pulled from a game and then leaves Safeco Field before the final out. A day later, he tells the team he needs help with his emotional issues, and now he's, in essence, on a leave of absence.

• Hitting coach Alan Cockrell is fired for the sins of the Mariners' anemic offense.

• Griffey is revealed to be the most high-profile hibernator since Winnie the Pooh.

Now would probably be a good time to inform you that Zduriencik was once a disciplinarian.

Before transforming into a super scout, Jack Z was a teacher and coach. At one stop, he was in charge of in-school suspension. He liked the job because it challenged him to get through to troubled teenagers. To Zduriencik, the discipline part wasn't a problem. But he was especially motivated to analyze kids, learn how to prod and nurture and care for them, and send them back to their teachers as better people.

"You have to understand where those kids are coming from," the GM said during an interview before the season began. "I've always said, 'I don't hear you until I know you care.' Discipline is easy. I wanted to relate to these kids. It's no different than what I want to do with our players now. There's managing people, and there's, I guess, bossing them. It's important to know how to be in charge and establish relationships. It helps you know your people better."

Well, Zduriencik needs to dust off every skill, every old trick, he has learned over the years.

If the Bradley news last week didn't convince you, if eight straight home losses weren't persuasive enough, then surely this Griffey issue makes it official: The Mariners are a team in crisis.

We're still in the first quarter of this season, and the Mariners have achieved a level of dysfunction that is starting to make 2008 seem like no big deal.

It's a puzzling predicament. This is a good clubhouse. The players are more mature, responsible and accountable than that disturbing group from two years ago. Unlike that 2008 team, these problems don't seem to be part of a plague; they're more like random incidents compounded by the team's struggles. But controversy is controversy. And no matter what the Mariners say, the dysfunction will overwhelm this team unless Wakamatsu, Zduriencik and Co. figure out how to eliminate it.

Wakamatsu is trying to keep this team together with a measured approach, but perhaps now is the time for him to become stern publicly. It worked with Felix Hernandez a year ago.

For Zduriencik, some even harder decisions are coming. He'll be wheelin' and dealin' as soon as trade partners are willing, but his first order of business will involve Griffey and this dreadful designated-hitter situation.

Despite the embarrassment, Griffey still has a say, though. If he gets hot, this story goes away. If he continues to struggle — and sadly, this is the likely scenario — then he'll be a retired ballplayer by June.

The ultimate wake-up call has arrived for a legend and for a slumbering franchise once thought to be a playoff contender.

Jerry Brewer: 206-464-2277 or jbrewer@seattletimes.com, Twitter: @Jerry_Brewer